8 Chapter Eight – Soul Return, Lineage Repair, and Discovering One’s Destiny

My grandmother once told me that before any soul incarnates into this world, there is a moment when the ancestors convene to review what is happening in their lineages. They come together as a council of elders and speak about what is needed for this time. They look into the traumas that many generations have gone through, and notice which traumas continue to work through the family lineage again and again.

In this gathering, the elders speak about the troubles within the lineages – issues around cultural restoration, traumas around violent acts that have gone on for many lifetimes. They address matters of sexual abuse and violation, suppression of voices, and how many of their descendants were not allowed to share their ancestral medicine in order to restore balance and harmony. The elders recognized that families had lost their ability to come together and create cohesive ways to empower the lineage instead of destroying it.

These elders themselves had lived through many ancestral challenges and did their best to shift the ancestral narrative, but circumstances and conditions often prevented that shift from happening. They now view these generational burdens from an elevated ancestral lens. This conversation goes on for what seems like days or months until it feels complete.

The elder ancestors then convene with other well ancestors. They ask for one soul to come back into the world to ensure that some lineage restoration might take place. This is a lifetime process in which the chosen incarnate soul needs to relive the same aspects of the lineage traumas, but with the support of the ancestral council. This soul’s purpose is to find their way back towards their mission of restoring the ancestral lineage within this lifetime.

The soul that chooses to reincarnate does not go alone on this journey. Many different ancestors are called to work with them, usually ancestors who have transcended the trials in their own lifetimes. Through this incarnated soul these ancestral guides are given another opportunity to right the wrongs from an elevated perspective. The overall goal of the ancestors is to find harmony and restore all that was broken and lost due to the many different events that have happened throughout time. These events include harms from colonization, forced migration, destruction of family units, power struggles, as well as jealousy and envy amongst the family.

In accordance with my Xhosa tradition, the ancestral elders ask a soul to take on the many gifts of the lineage so that they can come back as a sangoma or a prophet. These are ancestors who lived in a time when the relationship between the land, the animals and the spirits were vibrant and they all lived in harmony. Many had no choice but to adapt to the new colonized world in which the practice of one’s spiritual belief system was deemed an act against the country’s laws and could be punished by severe beating or imprisonment.

The beauty and resilience of my people led them to adapt to the Christian faith while still maintaining the essence of who we are in the many churches that were forced upon them. Even in those churches, my people held sacred ritual ceremonies in which the drum still resonated. The drum created ancestral vibrations which reminded the people of who they were. The gift of seeing and knowing what was to come was passed down in this way.

The trance state would take the individual back into time where they could see, feel and know spirit from a transcendent space. In that transcendent moment, even in a crowded church, they would bring forward the messages of the ancestors and what is needed for this space and time. Of course, this was illegal, but because it fell under the guise of a church structure it was somehow allowed to continue.

Others were called differently. They might end up in a deep process of initiation where they stayed with their spiritual teacher and learnt many ways to connect with their ancestors through dance and the sacred drumbeat. They were also taught how to work with plant medicines, animals and spirits of the land, as well as the powerful force which is the ancestors.

All of these gifts were passed down from generation to generation despite the challenges of the times in which they lived. The chosen soul would be sent two ancestors, one from the father’s side of the family and one from the mother’s side. These ancestors would become messengers and gateways to the ancestral realms. They would help the chosen soul to connect with and remember their destiny, and why they had chosen to incarnate.

The agreement was that the chosen soul needed to experience various challenges. While these challenges were in line with the ancestral traumas that needed to shift, the chosen soul was given the blessing of free will. This soul could choose to live in accordance with their destiny, or choose differently and miss their destiny altogether.

Each of these options had consequences. To live in alignment with one’s destiny meant living through some of the same experiences that the ancestors faced in order to transcend and heal the inherited ancestral wounds along the lineage. To sidestep or avoid one’s destiny meant living unconscious of the soul’s ancestral mission. The incarnate life of such a soul might not only be caught up in the world, and unknowingly add further harm to the ancestral lineage, but also navigate a life filled with the challenges inherited from all the generations that went before.

Those who elected to follow their destiny would work with the chosen ancestors who would help them realign with their spiritual powers, and teach them to heal the lineage by being of service to the family and community. The ancestors would empower them with various tools such as ceremony and rituals, divination, plant medicine, energy medicine, as well as other ancestral methods. These tools would be used to help both the family and the community, as well as the ancestral lineage, move back into health and wellness in order to restore balance and harmony to all.

Before the chosen soul leaves for their mission, there would be a big celebration and a gathering, in which all the ancestors would come together in honor of this soul who was brave enough to go down to the world to restore the brokenness of the ancestral lineage. The chosen soul would be gifted with words, given power objects to help them on their journey, and birth marks to help them remember their path. They would learn that they could always connect to the ancestral realms in dreams and visions.

This soul preparation would continue for nine months, whilst the soul grew in their mother’s womb. Each day a different ancestor would come to the soul and gift them with a message of remembrance, to enable the soul to always stay connected. The various ancestors who have lived through many lifetimes would present themselves during this period.

Kings and queens came forward to speak of the great battles that they endured as the Hlubi, Mfengu clans. They spoke of the importance of the land and how they lived with land as vast and expansive as the eyes could see. They spoke of leadership, vision and strategy, and how these gifts will run throughout this incarnation. At some point this soul will be called to bring back ebukhosini, or to live out the royal bloodline.

Then healers came forward, dressed in the most beautiful attire, beaded from head to toe. They spoke of how they were always called in times of trouble. They found ways to speak to the ancients that helped bring resolve and clarity around different problems that they faced.

The job of the healers was to divine into the past, present and future, and bring healing to the community. They spoke of the long queues of people who came to them in search of healing and divine guidance throughout life’s challenging journey. Each day they would wake up with dreams and visions and prophecies for times yet to come. They spoke of a time where one day you, the chosen soul, will have to answer the sacred ancestral call.

Then came the medicine man and the herbalist, who specialized in understanding the plants, where to find each plant, and how to use the plants as a form of medicine. These ones walked with medicines and spoke of the importance of understanding the lands and all that surrounds it. They said that one day they will come forward and teach the ancient ways of healing with plant medicines. Most importantly, they will gift you with medicines that you will use to heal yourself and the community you serve.

Then there were the warriors. These were very powerful men, tall and strong, who dressed up in animal skins. One of them called himself the general. He came forward and spoke of the art of war. He said that in their time they had fought many battles and served many kings and queens. The role of the warriors was to protect and remove obstacles. They invited the chosen soul to call upon them in challenging times, and allow them to do the work. They stand in the thousands and eagerly await these instructions.

Then there were the wise ancient ones. When they came forward they spoke of the power of Source energy and the ability to see and know all things simply through remembrance and reconnection. The ancient ones travelled all over the world to connect with different tribes and people, and to learn how spirit moves and works through all things.

The wise ancient ones had the ability to work with the elements and summon them at will. They were the rain makers, the wind chimers, the fire stalkers, the water weavers. They danced easily with the elements and worked miracles with each step they took. They said that this is a gift that one day will awaken within you.

Then the grandmothers came forward to share the gift of song. They sang songs so angelic that words could not begin to describe them. Each word they uttered had deep significance and connection to who and what they are. In the healing frequencies and vibrations of their different musical instruments, they were able to realign the body’s chemistry back into wholeness.

The grandmothers shared that, just as the universe was created with sound, so too are human beings made of sounds, frequencies and vibrations. One day there will be sounds, songs, frequencies and instrumental vibrations that will come forward. When that happens, know that it is time for you to awaken and step into your journey of healing through sound.

Then came the dancers. They could move their bodies in unbelievable ways. They shared that as you dance, you enter into a deep space of connectedness, a trance state. You become one with the many spirits who have existed throughout time. You connect with the stars and move with the cosmos. You feel the beauty and the power that lies within the great expansion of all that is and ever will be. They, too, spoke of a day where we would come together and dance the dance which created the cosmos and made way for all life to exist.

All these beings came together and spoke about the ancient ways which were lost and the profound importance of restoring those ancient ways. They spoke of the power of Ubuntu – “I am because of who we all are” – which was a way of life for them. They lived in harmony with the animals, the people, the land, and the spirits sent to be guardians of those spaces. These beings shared how critical it is to reconnect with Ubuntu and make it your way of life.

The fetus would slowly grow in the mother’s womb. Each day in the womb, the soul would experience two worlds. One world was the ancestral realm where the soul would be blessed with gifts of remembrance and understanding. One world was the physical realm where pain and suffering were the norms.

As the fetus grows, the mother’s daily experiences would lay the foundation of the life that the soul would live through. The mother and the unborn child became intimately connected; her pain became their pain, her challenges their challenges, her sadness their sadness.

The ancient beings shared that this was the initial phase of the incarnation contract that the soul experiences. On the final days of pregnancy, the soul would start to have a deeper understanding of both the spiritual journey and the physical experience of living in the world. The soul’s only job is to remember who they are and why they were called.

The journey through the birth canal feels like falling out of bright light, and being plunged into a state of complete and immense darkness. Tears roll down as they enter into a state of complete helplessness. Then they are thrust into the hands of a father and mother that they did not know but somehow chose.

In this moment the new soul enters into a new state – FEAR! I was scared and so lonely. I tried to reach out to what felt like a deep ceremony of celebration and honoring, but the memory of it disappeared with each breath. All I could do was cry. That was the first time I experienced abandonment, which brought about a massive sense of worthlessness.

As my soul screamed for what used to be, I tried to reach back to the ancestral realms but was met with an indescribable sense of loss of love. Then came uncontrollable feelings of not being deserving or worthy of love. This was the first taste of soul trauma, a new sensation which was overwhelming on so many levels.

All I wanted to do was to go back to the ancestral realms. The response was a deep silence. As my connection to spirit dissipated, I felt extremely heavy. At that moment I entered a dark state of emptiness. I couldn’t recall anything. I finally opened my eyes, saw two people smiling down at me, and everything else was forgotten. Thus my incarnate journey of ancestral healing work began.

I recall the first time I met my ancestral guide. It was a day like any other in the rural village in the Eastern Cape of South Africa where we grew up. At roughly 10 years old, I was at an age when I was called into ukulosa or being a herder. We always packed lunch and took the cattle out towards the river where there was plenty of grass for the cows and sheep, and water was just a stone’s throw away.

There were usually about five of us herders from different households. We each took care of our own group of cows, sheep and goats. We always started off at the same spot, and we hunted for rabbits and birds so we could eat something besides our normal lunch of sour maize meal.

That day was hotter than most. We never had many trees around us, so on scorching hot days we took the cattle to the place where there was one thorn tree. Here we would rest in the limited shade and eat our packed lunch. I decided to jump into the river to cool off. The other guys wandered off to continue hunting rabbits or birds.

After my swim I fell into a deep sleep. This was unusual for me as I always stayed awake to keep an eye on the cattle. I heard a voice in the distance, then saw a man who told me not to move. There was a snake quite close by, making its way towards me. The man spoke to the snake. It seemed to listen, then moved away.

The man came and sat next to me. He introduced himself as Mdodi. He said he was from around here and had farmed and lived on this land for many years. Mdodi told me of the land, and the many different types of plant medicines that can help heal just about anything. He picked up a few leaves from the thorn tree and said that this was also medicine. It helps heal scars as well as itchy skin. I was confused about who Mdodi was, and I couldn’t get over the fact that he just spoke to the snake and the snake seemed to listen and disappear.

He mentioned that we all have a beautiful relationship with nature, the trees, the animals and the plants. If we are intentional, we can learn to communicate with the stars as well as the rivers. I was so impressed by his knowledge and wisdom because it felt like he knew everything!

Mdodi continued to show me around and said that years ago, the river here was filled with many different fish. They used to go fishing in this exact spot and find the biggest fish in the whole land. I smiled and told him we never thought of fishing, as most of us enjoyed hunting the rabbits and birds here. I assured him I would try fishing with the guys next time. All of sudden my friends were jabbing my shoulder. They shouted and screamed that one of the calves was drowning in the river. I jumped up to help rescue the calf.

As the sun began to set I asked my friends if they had seen a man around here and they said no. I shared with them everything he told me, that he talks to snakes and knows the land extremely well. I told them that he showed me plant medicines and the best place to go fishing. They all laughed at me and said I must be seeing things.

As we walked home I couldn’t help but wonder about that man. I clearly saw him and he was so real to me. Was it just a dream? But how could a dream be so real? I recall the places he showed me and how he lived in the same area that I called home. When I got back home my parents asked me how my day was. I just smiled and said it was good.

I woke up the next morning looking forward to meeting Mdodi again. I assumed he would be at the same place but to no avail. I Iooked everywhere but couldn’t find him. Maybe my friends were right. Either I was losing my mind or it was all a dream.

Years passed before I saw Mdodi again. This time he came to me in a dream. We met at the same place as when I was younger. I recognized him right away. Over the years I had missed his wisdom and knowledge about everything, and I hoped that we could sit together again.

I asked Mdodi questions about where he had been. He told me that I had needed time to discover life for myself, but now he had come to share with me about the Xhosa cosmology and the importance of names. “What’s in a name?” I asked him. “DESTINY,” he replied with a smile on his face.

You see, we as a people always name our children based upon three things. First, a period of challenge – you will notice that some of your friends are named Nomvula (bringer of the rains) because they were born in a time where there was a massive drought. Their destiny is to reconnect with the rituals and ceremonies that help the heavens to open up. There are several examples of the rain dance, the mountain ceremonies, and the intricate understanding of seasons and rituals. Within their DNA lies the secrets of working with the rains, floods and hurricanes.

The second layer is when you are named after an ancestor whose destiny was not fulfilled. This can be a name like Themba (the trusted one) whose duty was to incarnate and be trusted with ancient wisdom. Their role or duty was to tap into the wisdom of the ages and bring about the necessary changes in the family lineage. If they fall short of their ancestral mission, they have to reincarnate to fulfill their destiny.

The final layer are names which have not been used before. As the ancestral council, we sit and look at the troubles of the lineage. Then we send a soul whose destiny it is to shift the trajectory of the family lineage. In your case we called you Litha, which means light. You are the one who will bring the light back into the family again. You are the light of the ancestors. You will shine your light into the darkness and bring about the changes we have longed for, for many generations.

I looked at him in disbelief. I wasn’t even the oldest within my family, and I knew nothing. How could one as small and insignificant as I change the minds of elders who had lived far longer and knew so much more than me? Surely they got this wrong! Mdodi laughed and said that’s exactly the part of the journey you have to overcome yourself before anything significant can happen.

I asked him, “How the hell do I do that?” I woke up a few minutes later wishing I was not so curious and inquisitive, because this truly felt like a tall ask. I spent the next few days in a fit of rage and confusion because this guy, this Mdodi, who I don’t know that well, comes into my life whenever he pleases, then talks to me about a destiny that I am too scared to even think about.

As the years passed and I simply went on with my life, I forgot about my last encounter with Mdodi. I spent more time in the city, and became disconnected from the ways of the rural communal lifestyle. I adopted a more western and individualistic approach to my life. I came to value material possession and worldly success, and I was willing to do anything to achieve that vision.

After a few years spent chasing and achieving success, I began to feel a massive sense of emptiness and a lack of fulfillment. I had lost my sense of inspiration and started to pick up unhealthy habits in order to fill that void. Each passing day I would ask myself, “What is the point of living?”

One morning I woke up inspired to do deep research around who I am, where I come from, and who my ancestors are. Because I felt so disconnected from the pure joy of my childhood in the rural villages, I wanted to find myself again. I was so caught up in materialism and the fast city life that I missed the beauty and simplicity of those villages. My journey began when I returned to my ancestral lands in the Eastern Cape of South Africa where I grew up. My family has a small farm there. I didn’t know where to start, or how to get in touch with all the people who might assist me on my journey.

Then I stepped into an ancestral ceremony. Members of the community had gathered in my uncle’s home to honor and give thanks to one of my great–great–grandfathers who had passed away years ago, but who kept asking my uncle for a ceremony to help him cross over. In this ceremony we all gathered as a clan. Several community members were also invited to witness and empower the occasion.

We made several ceremonial offerings: a sheep which acted as a messenger to the ancestral realms, traditional beer – called Umqombothi – brewed in the ancestral hut, tobacco which we call snuff, two bottles of vodka and two bottles of whisky, as well as four cases of beer. The beer was primarily to be consumed by the family and community.

As the ceremony progressed, I learnt that we are a people who have direct connection and communion with the ancestors. We speak words which bring life into the occasion. In this ceremony I realized that all we need to bring our ancestors closer is to speak to them as though they are here with us right now.

I also learnt that the sheep plays a critical role as the messenger to the ancestors. We build a relationship with the sheep, asking it to clear all that needs to be cleared and deliver the intentions of what we are called here to do. The spilling of the sheep’s blood brings about the cleansing, repair and communication between the ancestral and physical realms.

Each one of the elders stood and spoke life into the ceremony. Because my uncle had called the community together, they also acknowledged him. The elders spoke about how this ceremony was called to bring about change and transform the ancestral lineage. As the ancestor who called us together crossed over to join the other ancestors who are well in spirit, he may now return to bring protection and guidance to the family.

Each moment in ceremony brought new messages from the ancestral realms. I could feel their presence in every word that was spoken. As the day progressed, the ancestral songs began. Everyone joined in to sing the songs that have been passed down from generation to generation. I sat in awe as this ancestral energy swept around the space. The potency of this ceremony brought about a sense of healing for me.

Before returning to my rural village, I had been on the verge of self-destruction. Now I had a sense of purpose and connection that I had never known before. I felt seen by the ancestors and held in community with such great love and respect. Each song carried deep significance, and each elder brought deep blessings to us all by intuitively sharing the messages that flowed in and through the songs. I witnessed a gathering of ancient ones who all wanted the same thing – to help the family restore its ancestral lineage vibrancy. For hours I remained there in a complete trance, listening and experiencing the ancestral energy that moved through each elder who spoke. I could feel the vibration of healing that resonated in each song.

Later that night I sat in a deep state of gratitude. I had found a new passion and desire to be in regular communion with my ancestors. I asked them to come forward and teach me how to live in this energy and share it with others. In response, I was visited by another ancestor who took me to the same thorn tree under which I had fallen asleep many years before.

He smiled and said, “We always knew you would get here. You had to experience all the trials and difficulties in order to return to this point. We watched you every step of the way, even as you made decisions which were not for your highest good. Many times we fought for you, to ensure that one day you would arrive at a place of being open enough for us to work together.”

His message intrigued me. I recalled the times I had terrible car accidents but walked away without a scratch; other times I had plans to go somewhere but couldn’t find the energy to get there. Later I would learn that something terrible had happened at that gathering. I remembered the many occasions when I found exactly what I needed in a book, a movie, or a song that spoke to my situation and gave me hope. Those had seemed like coincidences in the moment. Now I began to think otherwise.

This ancestor laughed. He said that there are no such things as coincidences, only divine appointments orchestrated by divine timing. Each moment and experience, good or bad, is part of your journey. Without those moments and experiences, you cannot realize your destiny. Each moment is an opportunity to learn how to shift and transform situations for the highest good of all. The so-called bad situations that unfold in your life teach you how to tap into your gifts, and how to navigate obstacles to find peace, and to bring peace to all those around you.

I asked him what I could do to strengthen the relationship with him and all those who came before him? He looked at me and replied that we as Black people live and thrive through ritual and ceremony. There can never be harmony and balance in your ancestral lineage without ritual and ceremony. In earlier times we were closely connected with nature, the animals, the ancestors and human beings. But colonization stole that from us. As a result, we no longer remember the ceremonies and rituals that bring about balance and harmony with nature, the animals and our people.

I asked, “How do I reclaim that wisdom?” He pointed to my heart. The wisdom is inside of you. You only need to be quiet enough to allow the sacred memory to arise from within. It’s not a state of doing, but a state of being. When you purge your worries and concerns about life and the direction you hope it will go, and surrender to a state of knowing, only then will your needs and desires be effortlessly met. We work in your favor when you are also working to restore and reclaim the ancestral legacy which we all desire to embody. Know that all that you accumulate is not yours to keep, but yours to share, so that others may awaken to the possibility of a new state of abundance and prosperity.

We will create incredible opportunities to help you expand. There will also be challenges to overcome, but know that even in those challenges you are not alone. Open yourself to the messages we bring you and learn to take guided, rather than impulsive, action. Wait for the signs and listen to the messages before you move. If you can learn to master that, then you are in alignment with the ancestral force of your lineage.

Learn to sit with discomfort. Unpack for yourself what the discomfort wants to teach you, for in those dark spaces lies the medicine of ancestral lineage healing. By tapping into that ancestral medicine, you release many generations who have dealt with similar fates. There is great power in creating an ally out of your shadow, because it is your shadow work that will illuminate your path and equip you to live out your destiny.

The whole point of ancestral lineage healing is to learn to understand yourself, to shift things within so that you can become light and be the light. Once you find and live into your own light energy, then we will work with you by showing you the ancestral trauma of the family. Take note of the struggles your lineage holds, then go into ceremony and create ritual around that history. We will be present with you, guiding you as to what’s needed and how the ritual and the healing needs to unfold. Your task is to become the vessel, to show up in the spaces and the places into which we call you.

“How do I prepare myself to be a vessel?” I asked. He responded by saying that there are many ways to prepare, but the simplest path is to learn to be pure of mind, body and spirit. Take good care of the temple which is your body. Nourish yourself with daily moments of silence so that we can connect in the quiet. Most importantly, cleanse your energy regularly by immersing yourself in nature. Allow the mountains to ground you, the rivers to cleanse you, the winds to whisper our messages, and the fires to transform your being.

Always remember that you never walk alone. There are 4094 ancestors who came before you. We all prayed you into existence. In agreement with you, we came together and guided you into the physical realms so that one day you would open yourself up to the power of ancestral lineage healing.

You carry within you the sacred memory of ritual and ceremony, the power of Ubuntu, the sovereignty that comes with divine guidance, the beauty of song and dance, the wisdom and healing energy of plant medicines, the gift of divination, and the warrior energy to help you overcome any challenge. You are because they were.

Camagu, Makhosi amaKhulu.