9 Chapter Nine – body roots

where are my roots. this whiteness

took them from me and from them

before me. took them. took them. stole

them. sold them a lie. a lie. a lie. a lie. a

lie. survival through empty comfort.

at the cost of violence. severance. loss.

loss. loss. grief. buried. buried. buried.

numb. pretend. pretend. just pretend. it’s

not there. the pain. the wound. the void.

not there beneath this real not real way

of being. living. relating. threads sustained.

threads distorted. threads rootless. threads

that blend. blend in. deadly blending. deadly

survival. don’t be too much. you’re too

much. contain your magic. your wisdom.

hide it more. hide it more. hide it more.

hide it more. hide it more. i can still see it.

pretend to not know. stop with the trauma.

victimhood. autoimmunity. heal already.

just heal. just heal. just heal. just heal.

just heal. why aren’t you healed. survival.

survival. narrative of survival. understandable

obsession. but is this survival? what is

survival? what is surviving? what about

the stripping? lost sanity. complicity. rejection

upon rejection upon rejection. rejection

metastasizes. turns into loathing. curve

hatred. hair ironing. nose cutting. control

the children. don’t touch. don’t move.

don’t wander. don’t wonder. be more.

be less. don’t go near the grief. its too big.

accept the flattening. the division. brokenness

masked as success. success at what? success

at what? success at what? intellect. striving.

betrayal. dissociation. bodylessness here in

this body. this body. this body. this body.

this body. this body. this body. this body.

this body. this body. this body. this body.

this body. this body. this body. this body.

this body. this body. this body. this body.

this body knows these settler patterns and

prayers are not right. keep our spirits torn.

held hostage. separated from our humanity.

this body knows these neurosis are not the

only option. more is possible than this

depression. anxiety. hyper-arousal. hyper-

functioning. hyper-exhaustion. hyper-fixation.

obsession with not okay-ness. not enough-ness.

too much-ness. cultural trauma lodged in

nervous system. hair gone. no need to iron.

but this body. this body knows. this body

knows. this body knows. what’s real. what’s

real. what’s real. body knows ritual. knows

melody. knows how to sway and mend

back to whole again. body knows pulsing

blood memory of prayer. of meal. of earth.

body remembers. body just needs time.

give it time. give it time. give it time. give

it time. it will come. it will come. it will

come. it will come. it will come. the knowing.

the knowing will return home. it’s already

there. in your bones. there will be tears.

let them come. let them out. let them breathe.

let them fall. give them space to soak

gratitude reverence relief into her lap.

her. mother. her. grandmother. her. great

grandmother. her. ancestor witch. healer.

weaver. priestess. midwife. her. her. her.

her. her. her. her. earth. her. goddess. let

the tears come. let her absorb them.

she is here. listen for her voice as you tend

the altar of your softening heart. receive

her nourishment. receive her forgiveness.

her collaboration. her conversation. receive

her reorientation. receive her moonlight

on the path home to the motherland of your

body. receive her wildness. her spells. magic

incantations. her potions. tinctures. the salve

of her caress. medicine to knit you back

in to your wholly lineage. it needs you. you

are not insignificant to these generations

behind you. they are calling you back to prayer.

inviting you to attune to what was and what

wants to become. invitation to shape. a

welcome to full body experience of aliveness.

invitation to dwell in this body. reclaim this

body. thank this sacred body. this presence.

this container for the pleasure of presence.

divine vessel. inhabit this temple. dance in

the grace of its knowing. this. here. body.

welcome. this. home. here. body. roots.

Rimon is the first of a series of prints celebrating the seven sacred foods or “Seven Species” (shivat haminim) of Judaism. These are pomegranate (rimon), olive (zayit), fig (te’enah), barley (se’orah), wheat (hitah), dates (tamar), and grapes (gefen). According to the Kabbalists, each corresponds to one of the seven sefirot (Divine attributes), which also exist in us:

Wheat: Chesed — Kindness/Love
Barley: Gevurah — Strength/Resilience
Grapes: Tiferet — Harmony/Beauty
Figs: Netzach — Steadfastness
Pomegranates: Hod — Humility/Willingness
Olives: Yesod — Foundation/Grounding
Dates: Malchut — Divine Reflection