18 First Person: Waiting for Meds to Work
BY JODI LEE
Medications can be an excellent form of treatment for bipolar disorder. There are multiple forms of medications including antipsychotics, antidepressants, mood stabilizers and anti-anxiety medications. For me, the most difficult aspect of taking medications is waiting for them to start working. Whether I’m in a depression or a manic state, there aren’t any medications that work immediately. It can take between two and four weeks for medications to begin working, and sometimes even longer for them to reach their full effect.
As I wait for the medications to start working, I still suffer from my bipolar symptoms. As I write this, I have been waiting for an antipsychotic to reach its full effect. Since I’m still increasing the dosage, I won’t know what its full effect is for a while. I’ve been on the medication for three months, but my psychiatrist keeps increasing the dose every week; I have four more increases to go. Hopefully, at some point, the auditory hallucinations and suicidal ideations will go away.
There’s not much that I can do as I wait for the symptoms to go away. In my head, I fight with myself. What happens if I wait all of this time for the medication to start working, and it never happens? Not every medication works for every person. If the med I’m waiting on doesn’t work for me, then I have to start all over with another medication. I am considered treatment resistant, so there are a lot of meds that I have already tried that don’t work for me.
I try not to listen to the thoughts in my head, which tell me to give up and stop taking the medicine.
As I wait, I try to hold on. I try not to listen to the thoughts in my head, which tell me to give up and stop taking the medicine. I tell myself that I can get through this. The medications will work for me. I deserve to be happy and mentally stable. Even if I don’t really believe the things I’m saying to myself, it helps to keep repeating them.
Positive thinking is extremely beneficial. By saying positive thoughts over and over again, I can help myself reach a positive attitude. If you say something enough times, you can begin to believe it. That is true for both positive and negative thoughts. Even if I don’t become a positive thinker, at least I become a lot less negative because the positive thoughts take up a lot of room.
While waiting for my meds to kick in, I try to do other things that will also help me become stable. I try to keep to a routine, waking up and going to bed regularly. I also make sure to take my medications at the same times every day. I reach out to family and friends; having someone to talk to about how I’m feeling is very helpful. Talking honestly to the people in my support system is especially beneficial. Sometimes, I don’t even notice the first signs when my medications start to kick in. That’s why it’s important to stay in contact with our support system. The individuals that are close to us are often the first ones to notice small, but vital changes in our mental state.
Waiting for medications to start working is extraordinarily difficult. However, using the methods of positive thinking, a steady routine and reaching out to a support system can help you get through the difficult time while waiting for the medicine to work.
About the Author
Jodi Lee grew up in Connecticut but lives in Arizona with her husband their dog. She has two adult step-children and a granddaughter. She can’t have children of her own, but she loves being a grandmother. She is fortunate to have the love and support from her entire family. Her husband works hard to make sure she feels comfortable and safe. She was first hospitalized in 1999 because of a suicidal gesture. She was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1 with rapid cycling. She used a lot of recreational drugs then, making it harder to stabilize. In 2004, she attended a year-long in-patient rehab that treated addiction and mental health. She completed their program and has been sober since. Getting sober has significantly helped her mental health.
Although she struggles, she did have five stable years on medication. In 2009, she was diagnosed with PTSD and began experiencing bipolar episodes again. She ended up on disability, and has been on it since. She is compliant with medications, but still struggles with mania and depression. She did ECT treatments for over a year, which did help for some time. She is working with her psychiatrist to find the right combination of medicine to get and remain stable. You can read her personal blog at https://mysideofthepole.wordpress.com/