18 Etiquette
Etiquette
There are many books and resources out there with long lists of rules of theatre etiquette. This applies to those working in theatre and even to audiences (see Audience Relationships for more details on this side of things).
Activity: Outline what you think etiquette refers to for someone working in the theatre.
For those beginning to work in the sector, this notion of etiquette is often simply referred to as professionalism. There are things that are just common courtesy and respect; but rather than rigid rules, it is good to think about what is required to successfully work together collaboratively and meet common goals. The basics are being reliable, on time, ready to work, open to feedback, communicating constructively, and doing your part to meet deadlines. It is important to be aware that certain behaviours or lack of etiquette will affect your reputation and ability to get further work.
It is a reality that in a collaborative art form, if one person isn’t doing their part, it will affect the ability of others to do their work. However, there are barriers for some that should be considered. I’ve worked with amazing colleagues who were reliant on our city’s Handi-Transit (a mini-bus service that transports people who are unable to use the regular bus service due to a disability). It is famous for cancellations and being somewhat unreliable, even when booked early as a precaution. This external factor is beyond the individual’s control and shouldn’t lead to them being seen as unreliable.
The pandemic also highlighted the reality of having to be flexible at times to recognize health, safety, and even family obligations. Being good humans, practicing kindness, generosity, and gratitude will go a long way to making you someone folks will want to work with again. Communication can also help to make sure expectations are clear and challenges can be both acknowledged as well as addressed.
Some Standard Etiquette (caveat: for which there should be exceptions)
• Be early so you are ready to start on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable. (Communicate honestly and proactively if there are factors that may prevent being on time.)
• Show up
• Be prepared
• Meet all deadlines (or let folks know as soon as you can if you are struggling so you can get help)
• Be open to feedback and to learning (it is okay to say you need time to process something)
• Rather than criticizing or judging, find constructive ways to share concerns or feedback
• Avoid negativity, gossip, and talking behind colleagues’ backs as it can become toxic
• Respect the work of others (collaboration is more acceptable in some spaces, but should always be welcomed and not thrust upon others)
• Respect the space, keeping things clean and orderly is necessary for things to go smoothly and also shows a level of care
• Listen, take notes, follow-up, and be proactive
• Be responsive, this includes checking and answering e-mails within a day or two (or feel free to let folks know if you prefer to communicate in a specific way, perhaps a text is better for you)
• Confidentiality and privacy are signs of respect (but not to be used to protect someone who is doing something abusive or illegal)
• Generosity is valued, remember that you might be the one needing it one day
• Gratitude for the work of others, we are all doing our best
• When things get stressful it is okay to express that, but not to take it out on others
• Try to ground your emotions and keep communication professional
• We are working with humans, and often with difficult material, which can be a vulnerable thing so support your colleagues
• Respect includes things such as:
– not being on your phone when you should be actively engaging with those in the room
– whenever possible avoiding canceling, being late, or not showing up to show respect for the time of others
– listening to other ideas and perspectives openly before shutting down discussion
– taking into consideration the backgrounds, experiences, and sensitivities of others
The current emerging practice is to create a community or room agreement at the start of a production, so there is a common understanding of what everyone needs in order to do their best work in a safe and brave space. This allows for discussion of what respect or collaboration means to each member of a group, everyone might have different needs and expectations. This can also be a time to discuss accessibility within the room, including what specific needs people feel comfortable disclosing. This can lead to decisions around structuring the rehearsal process (movement breaks, check-ins and check-outs, room layout and so on).
Groups such as ARCS (The Authentic and Radically Curious Support) are supporting processes that include community agreements.
Some key things that have come up as part of a collective agreement process in rooms/classes that I’ve been involved with include:
• Calling in not calling out (acknowledging mistakes without accusation)
• What is said stays in the room, what is learned leaves the room
• Stepping up (if you find yourself holding back) and stepping back (if you find yourself dominating conversation)
• Don’t let it be personal but keep it about the work
• Asking questions without judgement
• Consent for physical touch every time
• Speaking in draft when working through new ideas knowing that figuring out something in the moment may result in misspeaking
• Constant feedback loop
• Respect of difference
As we continue to transition from an old school style of working, at least in Euro-centric spaces, there may still be working situations that are strict in nature. Although we have seen movement for greater latitude and consideration of the individual, finding the balance is the challenge. There is a difference between flexibility and a lack of rigour. Commitment is still required from all involved. As is communication, if there are challenges. Being responsible for your own choices is crucial and not taking on something that you cannot reasonably manage. At times it can come down to good intentions or thinking you can do more than you are able to do. Experience and time can help to clarify what you can reasonably commit to so that you don’t feel you are burning out or letting others down.
One young man, he told me one day, he told one of his young colleagues, oh, tell Denise I can’t come. I won’t be in tomorrow. And they were on contract with me. And I asked why? He’s tired. And I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He can’t not come to work, because the night before he did a ten-minute thing. It’s okay, sweetie. But no, he can’t miss work because he’s tired. And then it morphed into but he’s also going to do this reading for this other group. And so, when I talked to him, I was like, you know, did you read your contract? And he went, no. Number one, you actually do have to read the contract. And he was, “oh my God, I’m so sorry”. I said it’s okay. But you’ve offended me by suggesting that I’m not really so important right now when I’m, I give you a contract and money. Well, he was like aaaah and I said, if you do this in any other professional theatre setting, you’ll be fired. I said, did any of this come up when you were self-training in COVID days? He said no. I said, okay, I totally forgive you, but never do this again. – Denise Clarke, Choreographer/Theatre Artist/ Associate Artist One Yellow Rabbit, Calgary, AB
I find it helpful to always remember that we are working towards a common goal of creating a great show and ideally doing it in the healthiest and most enjoyable way possible. It is hard work though and we get tired and stressed. Figure out what you need to do for self-care so that you can be at your best while doing the work, and grounded in kindness and generosity.
To emphasize once again – gratitude is huge. We are sometimes quick to criticize and complain without recognizing how hard everyone is working to just keep theatre happening. Now, no matter what I think of a show I’ve attended, I express gratitude for the work put in by all involved. “Thank you for your work” acknowledges that this in and of itself has value.
I think art schools should teach students about bridge building and burning. There are very few artists in this world who are good enough that they can afford to bite the proverbial hands that feed them. And there are many who don’t understand what biting means. There are obvious bites, but there are also those that are far more nuanced and subtle.
It doesn’t matter how good an artist is, if they believe that simply agreeing to be a part of someone’s platform (festival, season, etc) is their act of generosity, they are wrong. Producing is such a thankless, difficult job — the work of building contexts and platforms for artists to be able to work is excruciatingly hard. There is so much work that goes into creating and finding ways for these platforms to sustain. If an artist is invited to be a participant, they should, at the very least, say thank you. (You’d be surprised how often that doesn’t happen). The producer almost always says thank you to the artist, but so often the artist doesn’t even think to thank the producer.
There are many very talented artists in this world, and there are many who are talented enough to be more successful than they are — and often, when I work long enough with them, particularly in a producer/artist relationship, I start to understand that their lack of success is connected to their narcissism — believing that offering their art is enough of an act of giving.
During last year’s FestivALT, we programmed Mikołaj Trzaska. For those who don’t know him, he’s one of the best musicians in Poland. A true master. We are a small(ish) festival and having Mikołaj perform with us made us very happy. And the concert was magnificent. But as the producer of the concert and the festival, what I remember (perhaps most) was just how gracious he was. The time he took not just to say thank you, but to feedback his experience and engage in a conversation about our work as a festival and organization as well. Of course, he could do this with some nuance, because he is a Polish Jewish artist living in Poland, and he could meaningfully recognize the value in what we were doing for Poland. But to this day I think about how he seemed to intrinsically understand that by being a part of our platform, it wasn’t just about what we as a festival were doing to make him feel good and appreciated, but about how we were doing this for each other. It was a collaboration, and it was an act of bridge and community building, and extremely important to me in this work.
Mikołaj is an artist who I look forward to working with again in the future, and a lot of that has to do with how he treated us. If he had not done this, or treated us as if he had offered us more than we offered him, even though the concert sold very well and he was amazing, I would likely not be so eager to work with him again.
Over the past few years I made the decision to dedicate more time to my art practice. I was having a lot of success as a producer and might have stayed producing more, but the money I was earning could no longer justify dealing with how hard I was working (physically, emotionally and psychology). I was also responsible for creating what I believed to be a game-changer for small-mid size theatre artists with CanadaHub in Edinburgh, but the Canada Council for the Arts | Conseil des arts du Canada unexplainably decided to stop supporting it despite the cost being only a tiny fraction of what they have been pouring into their digital creation funds.
I had this theory that I would start to get more respect if I returned to my art practice, and to be honest, I was right. Producers are treated like shit, and often the good ones are so good that people don’t understand what that even means.
Now I continue to produce FestivALT, and, despite being sometimes treated badly, its contribution to the Polish Jewish landscape holds enough value for me to stick with it. Other than that, I have basically ended my theatre producing practice (except for my own work).
It makes me a bit sad, because I think I was good at it, and my work had meaningful impact. Instead, I am trying to do my best to be gracious and build bridges and relationship with those who are giving me space to practice my art — to learn from the mistakes I made when I was younger, and the mistakes I have seen so many artists make with me.
– Michael Rubenfield, FB post July 4/23 (shared with permission)
In response to this post, many expressed the goal to do great work while also being good to work with. Being good to work with for me is what etiquette is all about.