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Revising and Editing
CHAPTER DESCRIPTION
Discusses the purpose of revising and editing; creating unity and coherence, concision, and identifying wordiness
Offers strategies writers use to look at drafts
Includes student paragraphs showing writing digression and revision
Includes tips for editing and proofreading
Revising and editing are the two tasks you undertake to significantly improve your essay. Both are very important elements of the writing process. You may think that a completed first draft means little improvement is needed. However, even experienced writers need to improve their drafts and rely on peers during revising and editing. You may know that athletes miss catches, fumble balls, or overshoot goals. Dancers forget steps, turn too slowly, or miss beats. For both athletes and dancers, the more they practice, the stronger their performance will become. Web designers seek better images, a more clever design, or a more appealing background for their web pages. Writing has the same capacity to profit from improvement and revision.
Understanding the Purpose of Revising and Editing
Revising and editing allow you to examine two important aspects of your writing separately so that you can give each task your undivided attention.
When you revise, you take a second look at your ideas. You might add, cut, move, or change information in order to make your ideas clearer, more accurate, more interesting, or more convincing.
When you edit, you take a second look at how you expressed your ideas. You add or change words. You fix any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. You improve your writing style. You make your essay into a polished, mature piece of writing, the end product of your best efforts.
Here are some strategies that writers have developed to look at their first drafts from a fresh perspective. Try them over the course of this semester; then keep using the ones that bring results.
Take a break. You are proud of what you wrote, but you might be too close to it to make changes. Set aside your writing for a few hours or even a day until you can look at it objectively.
Ask someone you trust for feedback and constructive criticism.
Use the resources that your college provides. Find out where your school’s writing lab is located and ask about the assistance they provide online and in person.
Pretend you are one of your readers. Are you satisfied or dissatisfied? Why? Many people hear the words critic, critical, and criticism and pick up only negative vibes that provoke feelings that make them blush, grumble, or shout. However, as a writer and a thinker, you need to learn to be critical of yourself in a positive way and have high expectations for your work. You also need to train your eye and trust your ability to fix what needs fixing. For this, you need to teach yourself where to look.
When you reread your writing to find revisions to make, look for each type of problem in a separate sweep. Read it straight through once to locate any problems with unity.
Read it straight through a second time to find problems with coherence. You may follow this same practice during many stages of the writing process.
Creating Unity and Coherence
Following your outline closely offers you a reasonable guarantee that your writing will stay on purpose and not drift away from the controlling idea. However, when writers are rushed, are tired, or cannot find the right words, their writing may become less than they want it to be. Their writing may no longer be clear and concise, and they may be adding information that is not needed to develop the main idea.
When a piece of writing has unity, all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense. When the writing has coherence, the ideas flow smoothly. The wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and from paragraph to paragraph.
Reading your writing aloud will often help you find problems with unity and coherence. Listen for the clarity and flow of your ideas. Identify places where you find yourself confused, and write a note to yourself about possible fixes.
Creating Unity
Sometimes writers get caught up in the moment and cannot resist a good digression. Even though you might enjoy such detours when you chat with friends, unplanned digressions usually harm a piece of writing.
Mariah stayed close to her outline when she drafted the three body paragraphs of her essay she tentatively titled “Fitness Trackers: Records and Motivation at What Price?” However, Mariah recently misplaced her Fitbit charging cord. She found herself frustrated that she was unable to use any of her many chargers with universal or standardized connections (such as Qi, micro-USB or USB-C). In addition, she couldn’t use the charger for the Fitbit her roommate owned, since she had a different model. All of this frustrated her enough that she digressed from the main topic of her third paragraph and included comments relating specifically to Fitbit’s tendency toward incompatible design. When she revised her essay, she deleted the off- topic sentences that affected the unity of the paragraph. Read the following paragraph twice, the first time without Mariah’s changes, and the second time with them.
Mariah’s Changes
The hardest part of making a decision about a fitness tracker relates to battery life. It confuses lots of people who just want a watch which will also help them to keep track of their exercise and encourage healthy activity. You could just buy a fitbit, the most popular and well known brand, but then you’d end up with a dead battery and not being able to charge it because you left your cord in your friend’s car. You face decisions you never had to make when just buying a dependable watch to last you years. Though basic watches have batteries that last for years, or even decades, to have functionality beyond date, time, stopwatch, alarm, timer, and light takes a bit more power. To make a decision, you need to not only look at how many days between charges, but how long it takes to charge and how many cycles the battery should be good for. Some smartwatches, like the Apple Watch, only have a battery lasting 18 hours, meaning it needs to be charged daily. This is not convenient for wanting to know the time in the middle of the night or for traveling internationally! Many versions of Fitbits, on the other hand, have batteries lasting up to over 3 days though the cords are very inconvenient to find and replace if necessary. The lack of compatibility across Fitbit versions or types is also extremely frustrating. Longer battery life is the biggest difference between full on smartwatches and fitness trackers with a few extra features, and many Fitbits find a nice balance between battery and features as long as you don’t lose the cord. And, of course, smartwatches are generally more expensive than fitness trackers. Don’t let the number of functions dazzle you away from considering only the functions you need so that you can get the most out of the battery life.
Creating Coherence
Careful writers use transitions to clarify how the ideas in their sentences and paragraphs are related. These words and phrases help the writing flow smoothly. Adding transitions is not the only way to improve coherence, but they are often useful and give a mature feel to your essay. The Table of Common Transitional Words and Phrases (table 5.3.1) groups many common transitions according to their purpose.
Being Clear and Concise
Some writers are very methodical and painstaking when they write a first draft. Other writers unleash a lot of words in order to get out all that they feel they need to say. Do either of these composing styles match your style? Or is your composing style somewhere in between? No matter which description best fits you, the first draft of almost every piece of writing, no matter its author, can be made clearer and more concise. If you have a tendency to write too much, you will need to look for unnecessary words. If you have a tendency to be vague or imprecise in your wording, you will need to find specific words to replace any overly general language.
Identifying Wordiness
Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will appeal more to their audience and better fit their purpose. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers because it makes your ideas clear, direct, and straightforward. Here are some common examples of wordiness to look for in your draft.
Sentences that begin with There is or There are.
Examples
Wordy: There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.
Revised: The Biology Department sponsors two major experiments.
Sentences with unnecessary modifiers.
Examples
Wordy: Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favor of the proposed important legislation.
Revised: Two well-known consumer advocates spoke in favor of the proposed legislation.
Sentences with deadwood phrases that add little to the meaning. Be selective when you use phrases such as in terms of, with a mind to, on the subject of, as to whether or not, more or less, as far as ___ is concerned, and similar expressions. You can usually find a more straightforward way to state your point.
Examples
Wordy: As a world leader in the field of green technology, the company plans to focus its efforts in the area of geothermal energy. A report as to whether or not to use geysers as an energy source is in the process of preparation.
Revised: As a world leader in green technology, the company plans to focus on geothermal energy. A report about using geysers as an energy source is in preparation.
Sentences in the passive voice or with forms of the verb to be. Sentences with passive-voice verbs often create confusion, because the subject of the sentence does not perform an action. Sentences are clearer when the subject of the sentence performs the action and is followed by a strong verb. Use strong, active-voice verbs in place of forms of to be, which can lead to wordiness. Avoid passive voice when you can.
Examples
Wordy: It might perhaps be said that using a map app is something that is a benefit to drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
Revised: Using a map app benefits drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
Sentences with constructions that can be shortened.
Examples
Wordy: Generative AI, a relatively recent invention, may become as commonplace in use as spellcheck. My over-sixty uncle used ChatGPT to help write his retirement speech, and his wife used Midjourney to make an image for the invitation to his retirement party.
Revised: Generative AI, a recent invention, may become as commonplace as spellcheck. My over-sixty uncle and his wife both used AI to prepare for his retirement party.
Choosing Specific, Appropriate Words
Most college essays should be written in formal English, suitable for an academic situation. Follow these principles to be sure that your word choice is appropriate.
Avoid slang. Find alternatives to words that only a certain demographic would understand.
Avoid language that is overly casual. Write about “men and women” rather than “girls and guys” unless you are trying to create a specific effect. A formal tone calls for formal language.
Avoid contractions. Use do not in place of don’t, I am in place of I’m, have not in place of haven’t, and so on. Contractions are considered casual speech.
Avoid clichés. Overused expressions such as green with envy, face the music, better late than never, and similar expressions are empty of meaning and may not appeal to your audience.
Be careful when you use words that sound alike but have different meanings. Some examples are allusion/illusion, complement/compliment, council/counsel, concurrent/consecutive, founder/flounder, and their/there/they’re. When in doubt, check a dictionary.
Choose words with the connotations you want. Choosing a word for its connotations is as important in formal essay writing as it is in all kinds of writing. Compare the positive connotations of the word proud and the negative connotations of arrogant and conceited.
Use specific words rather than overly general words.
Find synonyms for thing, people, nice, good, bad, interesting, and other vague words. Or use specific details to make your exact meaning clear.
Now read the revisions Mariah made to make her third paragraph clearer and more concise. She has already incorporated the changes she made to improve unity and coherence.
Mariah’s Revisions
The hardest part of making a decision about a fitness trackers relates to battery life. It confuses lots of people who just want a watch which will also help them to keep track of their exercise and encourage healthy activity. You face decisions you never had to make when just b^Buying a dependable watch to last you years^was much simpler. Though basic watches have batteries that last for years, or even decades, to have^, more functionalitybeyond date, time, stopwatch, alarm, timer, and light takes a bit more power. To make a decision, you need to not only look at how many days between charges, but how long it takes to charge ^length and how many cycles the battery should be good for. Some smartwatches, like the Apple Watch, only have a battery lasting 18 hours, meaning it needs to be charged daily. This is not convenient for wanting to know the time in the middle of the night or for traveling internationally! Many versions of Fitbits, on the other hand, have batteries lasting up to over 3 days. Longer battery life is the biggest difference between full on smartwatches and fitness trackers with a few extra features, and many Fitbits find a nice balance between battery and features. ^For the category of fitness trackers, more functions often means shorter battery life.And, of course, smartwatches are generally more expensive than fitness trackers. Don’t let the number of functions dazzle you away from considering only the functions you need so that you can get the most out of the battery life.^To get the best battery life, make sure to invest in a fitness tracker with only the functions you will use.
Completing a Peer Review
After working so closely with a piece of writing, writers often need to step back and ask for a more objective reader. What writers most need is feedback from readers who can respond only to the words on the page. When they are ready, writers show their drafts to someone they respect and who can give an honest response about its strengths and weaknesses.
You, too, can ask a peer to read your draft when it is ready. After evaluating the feedback and assessing what is most helpful, the reader’s feedback will help you when you revise your draft. This process is called peer review. You can work with a partner in your class and identify specific ways to strengthen each other’s essays. Although you may be uncomfortable sharing your writing at first, remember that each writer is working toward the same goal: a final draft that fits the audience and the purpose. Maintaining a positive attitude when providing feedback will put you and your partner at ease.
Using Feedback
Using Feedback Objectively
The purpose of peer feedback is to receive constructive criticism of your essay. Your peer reviewer is your first real audience, and you have the opportunity to learn what confuses and delights a reader so that you can improve your work before sharing the final draft with a wider audience (or your intended audience). It may not be necessary to incorporate every recommendation your peer reviewer makes. However, if you start to observe a pattern in the responses you receive from peer reviewers, you might want to take that feedback into consideration in future assignments. For example, if you read consistent comments about a need for more research, then you may want to consider including more research in future assignments.
Using Feedback from Multiple Sources
You might get feedback from more than one reader as you share different stages of your revised draft. In this situation, you may receive feedback from readers who do not understand the assignment or who lack your involvement with and enthusiasm for it. You need to evaluate the responses you receive according to two important criteria:
Determine if the feedback supports the purpose of the assignment.
Determine if the suggested revisions are appropriate to the audience. Then, using these standards, accept or reject revision feedback.
Editing Your Draft
If you have been incorporating each set of revisions as Mariah has, you have produced multiple drafts of your writing. So far, all your changes have been content changes. Perhaps with the help of peer feedback, you have made sure that you sufficiently supported your ideas. You have checked for problems with unity and coherence. You have examined your essay for word choice, revising to cut unnecessary words and to replace weak wording with specific and appropriate wording.
The next step after revising the content is editing. When you edit, you examine the surface features of your text. You examine your spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation. You also make sure you use the proper format when creating your finished assignment.
Editing often takes time. Budgeting time into the writing process allows you to complete additional edits after revising. Editing and proofreading your writing helps you create a finished work that represents your best efforts. Here are a few more tips to remember about your readers:
Readers do not notice correct spelling, but they do notice misspellings.
Readers look past your sentences to get to your ideas—unless the sentences are awkward, poorly constructed, and frustrating to read.
Readers notice when every sentence has the same rhythm as every other sentence, with no variety.
Readers do not cheer when you use there, their, and they’re correctly; but they notice when you do not.
Readers will notice the care with which you handled your assignment and your attention to detail in the delivery of an error-free document.
Checklists for Editing Your Writing Grammar
Are some sentences actually sentence fragments?
Are some sentences run-on sentences? How can I correct them?
Do some sentences need conjunctions between independent clauses?
Does every verb agree with its subject?
Is every verb in the correct tense?
Are tense forms, especially for irregular verbs, written correctly?
Have I used subject, object, and possessive personal pronouns correctly?
Do all personal pronouns agree with their antecedents?
Have I used the correct comparative and superlative forms of adjectives and adverbs?
Is it clear which word a participial phrase modifies, or is it a dangling modifier?
Sentence Structure
Are all my sentences simple sentences, or do I vary my sentence structure?
Have I chosen the best coordinating or subordinating conjunctions to join clauses?
Have I created long, overpacked sentences that should be shortened for clarity?
Do I see any mistakes in parallel structure?
Punctuation
Does every sentence end with the correct end punctuation?
Can I justify the use of every exclamation point?
Have I used apostrophes correctly to write all singular and plural possessive forms?
Have I used quotation marks correctly?
Mechanics and Usage
Can I find any spelling errors? How can I correct them?
Have I used capital letters where they are needed?
Have I written abbreviations, when allowed, correctly?
Can I find any errors in the use of commonly confused words, such as to/too/two?
Be careful about relying too much on spelling checkers and grammar checkers. A spelling checker cannot recognize that you meant to write principle but wrote principal instead. A grammar checker often queries constructions that are perfectly correct. The program does not understand your meaning; it makes its check against a general set of formulas that might not apply in each instance. If you use a grammar checker, accept the suggestions that make sense, but consider why the suggestions came up.
Proofreading requires patience; it is very easy to read past a mistake. Set your paper aside for at least a few hours, if not a day or more, so your mind will rest. Some professional proofreaders read a text backward so they can concentrate on spelling and punctuation. Another helpful technique is to slowly read a paper aloud, paying attention to every word, letter, and punctuation mark. If you need additional proofreading help, ask a reliable friend, a classmate, or a peer tutor to make a final pass on your paper to look for anything you missed.
Formatting
Remember to use proper format when creating your finished assignment. Sometimes an instructor, a department, or a college will require students to follow specific instructions on titles, margins, page numbers, or the location of the writer’s name.
These requirements may be more detailed and rigid for research projects and term papers, which often observe the American Psychological Association (APA) or Modern Language Association (MLA) style guides, especially when citations of sources are included. To ensure the format is correct and follows any specific instructions, make a final check before you submit an assignment.
Discuss these following scenario with your partners:
Imagine you are a computer scientist, and you have written an important paper about cybersecurity. You have been invited to speak at a conference to explain your ideas. As you prepare your slides and notes for your speech, you are thinking about these questions:
What kind of language should I use?
What information should I include on my slides?
Now, imagine you are the same computer scientist, and you have a nephew in 3rd grade. Your nephew's teacher has invited you to come to his class for Parents' Day, to explain what you do at work. Will you give the same speech to the class of eight-year-olds? How will your language and information be the same or different?
Thinking about audience, purpose, and context
Before we give the presentations in the scenarios described above, we need to consider our audience, purpose, and context. We need to adjust the formality and complexity of our language, depending on what our audience already knows. In the context of a professional conference, we can assume that our audience knows the technical language of our subject. In a third grade classroom, on the other hand, we would use less complex language. For the professional conference, we could include complicated information on our slides, but that probably wouldn't be effective for children. Our purpose will also affect how we make our presentation; we want to inform our listeners about cybersecurity, but we may need to entertain an audience of third graders a bit more than our professional colleagues.
The same thing is true with writing. For example, when we are writing for an academic audience of classmates and instructors, we use more formal, complex language than when we are writing for an audience of children. In all cases, we need to consider what our audience already knows, what they might think about our topic, and how they will respond to our ideas.
In writing, we also need to think about appearance, just as we do when giving a presentation. The way our essay looks is an important part of establishing our credibility as authors, in the same way that our appearance matters in a professional setting. Careful use of MLA format and careful proofreading help our essays to appear professional; consult MLA Formatting Guides for advice.
The rhetorical triangle
Before you start to write, you need to know:
Who is the intended audience? (Who are you writing this for?)
What is the purpose? (Why are you writing this?)
What is the context? (What is the situation, when is the time period, and where are your readers?)
We will examine each of these below.
AUDIENCE ~ Who are you writing for?
Your audience are the people who will read your writing, or listen to your presentation. In the examples above, the first audience were your professional colleagues; the second audience were your daughter and her classmates. Naturally, your presentation will not be the same to these two audiences.
Here are some questions you might think about as you’re deciding what to write about and how to shape your message:
What do I know about my audience? (What are their ages, interests, and biases? Do they have an opinion already? Are they interested in the topic? Why or why not?)
What do they know about my topic? (And, what does this audience not know about the topic? What do they need to know?)
What details might affect the way this audience thinks about my topic? (How will facts, statistics, personal stories, examples, definitions, or other types of evidence affect this audience?)
In academic writing, your readers will usually be your classmates and instructors. Sometimes, your instructor may ask you to write for a specific audience. This should be clear from the assignment prompt; if you are not sure, ask your instructor who the intended audience is.
PURPOSE - Why are you writing?
Your primary purpose for academic writing may be to inform, to persuade, or to entertain your audience. In the examples above, your primary purpose was to inform your listeners about cybersecurity.
Audience and purpose work together, as in these examples:
I need to write a letter to my landlord explaining why my rent is late so she won’t be upset. (Audience = landlord; Purpose = explaining my situation and keeping my landlord happy)
I want to write a proposal for my work team to persuade them to change our schedule. (Audience = work team; Purpose = persuading them to get the schedule changed)
I have to write a research paper for my environmental science instructor comparing solar to wind power. (Audience = instructor; Purpose = informing by analyzing and showing that you understand these two power sources)
Here are some of the main kinds of informative and persuasive writing you will do in college:
INFORMATIVE WRITING
PERSUASIVE WRITING
describes
argues
explains
defends
tells a story
convinces
summarizes
justifies
analyzes
advocates
compares/contrasts
supports
How Do I Know What My Purpose Is?
Sometimes your instructor will give you a purpose, like in the example above about the environmental science research paper (to inform), but other times, in college and in life, your purpose will depend on what effect you want your writing to have on your audience. What is the goal of your writing? What do you hope for your audience to think, feel, or do after reading it? Here are a few possibilities:
Persuade or inspire them to act or to think about an issue from your point of view.
Challenge them or make them question their thinking or behavior.
Argue for or against something they believe or do; change their minds or behavior.
Inform or teach them about a topic they don’t know much about.
Connect with them emotionally; help them feel understood.
There are many different types of writing in college: essays, lab reports, case studies, business proposals, and so on. Your audience and purpose may be different for each type of writing, and each discipline, or kind of class. This brings us to context.
CONTEXT ~ What is the situation?
When and where are you and your readers situated? What are your readers' circumstances? What is happening around them? Answering these questions will help you figure out the context, which helps you decide what kind of writing fits the situation best. The context is the situation, setting, or environment; it is the place and time that you are writing for. In our examples above, the first context is a professional conference; the second context is a third-grade classroom. The kind of presentation you write would be very different for these different contexts.
Here's another example: Imagine that your car breaks down on the way to class. You need to send a message to someone to help you.
AUDIENCE: your friends
PURPOSE: to ask for help
CONTEXT: you are standing by the side of Little Patuxent Parkway, 10 minutes before class begins. Your friends are already at the campus Starbucks or in Duncan Hall.
Do you and your readers have time for you to write a 1,000-word essay about how a car works, and how yours has broken down? Or would one word ('help!') and a photo be a better way to send your message?
Now imagine that you are enrolled in a mechanical engineering class, and your professor has asked for a 4-page explanation of how internal combustion works in your car. What kind of writing should you produce? This would be the appropriate audience, purpose, and context for the 1,000-word essay about how a car works.
Activity ~ A Note about Tone
As you consider your audience, purpose, and context, you will need to think about your word choice as well. For example, say these two phrases out loud:
very sick kids
seriously ill children
Do they mean the same thing? Would you use the phrases in the same way? How about:
lots of stuff
many items
The words we choose help determine the tone of our writing, which is connected to audience, purpose, and context. Can you think of other examples using formal and informal tone?
Or, how about watching a funny video? In this short (3.5 minutes) video from the popular children's program Sesame Street, Sir Ian McKellen tries to teach Cookie Monster a new word, but at first, Sir Ian doesn't really understand what his audience knows (or doesn't know), so Cookie Monster doesn't understand.
Portions of this chapter were modified from the following Open Educational Resources: