Josho Pat Phelan
Editor’s Note: Most of us come to meditation hoping to fix something about ourselves or our lives—to become calmer or better in some way. Zen priest Josho Pat Phelan, abbot of the Chapel Hill Zen Center in North Carolina, reminds us that in the Buddhist view there’s no need to improve ourselves. The following selection comes from her essay featured in Receiving the Marrow: Teachings on Dogen by Soto Zen Women Priests.
Most of us are drawn to practice meditation out of a sense that something is missing from our lives. We may feel a lot of stress or tension and want to become calm. We may have a bad habit, like smoking, that we want to stop, and we think that sitting meditation may give us the support we need. Or we may come to practice out of mental or emotional pain or frustration.
I would be suspicious if someone told me that they had a strong conviction that they were Buddha, and they wanted to begin practicing meditation in order to realize their “Buddhaness.” From our human point of view, most of us are motivated to practice out of pain or a deep need to change our lives. But, from Buddha’s point of view, we are already Buddha, and when we practice, we are just expressing our awakened quality of being. We have unconditioned nature, we are unconditioned nature; but at the same time, most of us are ignorant of our unconditioned being.
In order to actualize the Buddha we already are, or to complete the activity of being Buddha, we need to practice. We don’t have to be in a meditation hall to practice. Our practice is not even dependent on meditation. Since we are already Buddha, we can never leave the environment of practice.
