Knowing Ourselves
Now ask students: Why do we sometimes do things we know are wrong? Make sure two points emerge:
- “Hot” emotions like anger, fear, excitement, frustration and jealousy can be hard to control and can make us do things we normally wouldn’t. Lead a short class discussion on the following points:
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- Do we always know when we’re feeling these hot emotions? What might be some times when we’re feeling them without realizing it? (For example, if we get scared, that fear doesn’t stop right away even when the thing we were scared of does – or even if it turns out that it wasn’t really scary.)
- How do we feel when we’re happy or excited? What are the ways our body shows that we’re feeling a hot emotion? (Your heart beats faster; your muscles may feel tense; you may shiver; you may hold your breath without realizing it.)
- How does being in a “hot” emotional state affect how we think and make decisions? (It’s hard to think clearly when we’re feeling a hot emotion. Hot emotions make it harder to slow ourselves down: when something triggers a hot emotion, we usually want to do something about it right away. We also often take things a lot more personally when we’re feeling hot emotions, so we may react more strongly to things – which can make what we’re feeling even stronger.)
- When we’re using digital media like computers or cell phones, we sometimes don’t feel empathy as much as we normally would. That’s because we don’t get a lot of the things that tell us how people are feeling.
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- Ask students to remember a time they knew that a friend was mad and think about how they knew that: the look on their face; the tone of their voice; if they seem to be preoccupied with something.
- What are some things that might happen if we don’t realize that we are, or someone we’re with is, in a hot emotional state? (We can do things without thinking about them; react differently to things than we otherwise would; provoke a reaction in someone that they otherwise wouldn’t have.)
Have students turn to the What to Do If You’re In An Unhealthy Relationship and What Friends and Bystanders Can Do sections of the That’s Not Cool student chapter and go through it with the class.
Connect the strategies and tips there to students’ answers to the questions in the What’s Wrong With This Picture? scenarios.
- Which student answers are supported by the tips here?
- Which ones would they like to change based on what they know now?