“Practice kindness all day to everybody and you will realize you’re already in heaven.” Jack Kerouac

Steve’s initial CaringBridge post reflected strength and optimism, yet behind the words, Steve and Julene felt completely stunned by the diagnosis. For Steve to be facing cancer so soon after Julene’s battle against the disease was inconceivable. Steve and Julene had hoped to write a book about their cancer journey, and in his notes for the book, Steve described what he experienced when he first got the news:

It was October 25, 2012 and we were having dinner with friends before a Jimmy Buffett concert. I’m a huge Buffett fan. Not at the “Parrot Head” level, but perhaps a notch below. Then my cell phone rang in the restaurant and my doctor’s name popped up on the phone. I excused myself from the table and took the call outside. My doctor gave me the bad news: I had multiple tumors growing throughout my body. He did not know the type of cancer I had – but it was serious. A biopsy would be necessary to determine the cancer type and my prognosis. My mind was racing with thoughts. Is this really happening? How is this possible? Am I going to die? I regrouped my composure and went back into the restaurant. I did not want to spoil the concert for everyone else in our party.

I need to back up to 2011. My wife Julene was diagnosed with an aggressive form of uterine cancer. She underwent four months of chemotherapy. Now cancer free she is tested often to watch for reccurrences. How can a married couple both get cancer within a few years? The odds seem astronomical and almost impossible. But it happened. And the purpose of this book is to share our experiences of how we coped with the ups and downs as a cancer couple. Hopefully we can give hope to others going through their cancer experience.

Some say my story is unique. When I ask them why, they usually say something like, “you are so courageous”, or “you are an inspiration to me”. The fact is my story is not unique or special. Millions of people every year get diagnosed with cancer. I’ve just joined the team of millions and millions of cancer patients throughout the world. Every single one of these patients is a warrior. I’ve just joined the team.

Despite the initial feelings of shock, when Steve and Julene shared the news, they showed only care for others.  Steve’s own words in his first CaringBridge post provide a glimpse into his character, “…I will fight this with all that I’ve got. I consider this an opportunity for me to show my love to my friends and family…If I conquer this disease I will have more time to positively impact others in the world.” Take a moment and let that sink in. “I consider this an opportunity for me to show my love to my friends and family.” Steve’s words were a genuine reflection of his feelings and who he was.

This is not the typical response of a person receiving a diagnosis of an incurable illness.   While there’s an ongoing, unresolved debate as to the source of this depth of character – is it innate, learned, or a combination of both? – it is clear that how we live our lives, the habits and activities in which we engage, continue to build this character.  Steve’s lifetime of activities demonstrate how he had built the character and inner strength that led to his inspiring attitude towards this threat to his life on Earth.

In his beautiful book, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom, John O’Donohue described the connection between how we live our lives and how we experience our final journey.  He wrote, “…if you live in this world with kindness, if you do not add to other people’s burden, but if you try to serve with love, when the time comes for you to make the journey, you will receive a serenity, peace, and a welcoming freedom that will enable you to go to the other world with great elegance, grace, and acceptance.”  Steve demonstrated the truth in these words.

And there’s another thing about activities and habits that influenced Steve’s cancer experience. Steve and Julene’s life of faith, generosity, gratitude, optimism, and courage had led to the daily practice of unconditional love and giving. And, in their time of greatest need, this came back to them in countless heartwarming ways.

The word of Steve’s diagnosis spread quickly.  And the initial response was, naturally, nothing short of shock and disbelief.   How could someone so young and physically fit have a diagnosis like this?  And when you considered the fact that, over the past year, Julene had been through her own battle with cancer, well, it was simply wrong.

Family, friends, acquaintances, and even complete strangers rallied in support of Steve, Julene, Michael, and Karlie.  From the time of the initial diagnosis until long after the end of Steve’s journey, love poured in from all directions.  It would be impossible to describe all of the beautiful ways that people returned love to Steve and Julene, but here are just a few ways that the couple’s life of generosity and kindness came back around in their time of need:

•   Kayce ordered hundreds of periwinkle colored wristbands engraved with the words “No One Fights Alone”  for family, friends and co-workers to wear in support for Steve (periwinkle represents esophageal cancer).  Kayce was Steve’s sister-in-law and a co-worker at Simplot. Simplot, Tri-town, and the YMCA stocked the wristbands to give out to anyone who wanted to wear one.  There was such demand that the family had to place multiple re-orders.  Countless friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and fellow athletes wore the wristbands in support of Steve.
•      Each week, for many weeks after Steve’s diagnosis, Laurie called to ask what type of soup would most appeal to Steve and then, on Sunday afternoons, she brought a large pot of her healthy, homemade soup, salad, and bread.  Laurie is the director of Mini Joys, Inc, a small nonprofit, in which Julene volunteered as treasurer and founding member of the Board of Directors.
•      The staff and faculty of Cynthia Mann Elementary brought a gym bag full of DVD’s, a blanket, books, and other items designed to entertain and comfort Steve during his chemo treatments. It had been many years since Michael and Karlie had been students at Cynthia Mann, but the family was still remembered for their energy and unending willingness to support the teachers and help fill the needs of the school.
•      Margi organized a Facebook group, 140.6 For Steve.  The members were challenged to complete 140.6 miles or minutes or any activity in support of Steve, and then report their accomplishment.   Margi was one of Steve and Julene’s Ironman training and travel companions.  She looked to them both for inspiration and support.
•      Steve and Julene’s son, Michael, dedicated his first Ironman race to Steve and raised over $5,000 for Debbie’s Dream Foundation: Curing Stomach Cancer.  Shortly after his diagnosis, Steve started a local chapter of Debbie’s Dream Foundation in support of raising awareness, funding research, and supporting patients with stomach cancer.

There’s an old adage, “In life, you reap what you sow.”   For Steve, harvest time came too soon and too short.  Yet, the bounty from a life of giving was rich and full.

CaringBridge Posts

By Julene Andrews — Nov 12, 2012 7:53am

Thank you all. We feel the love. We are comforted by your prayers. And we are keeping the faith!!!!!
Xoxo Julene

Steve Update – November 17, 2012

By Steve Andrews — Nov 17, 2012 3:46pm

Today is Saturday, November 17, 2012. A lot has been going on since my last update. First of all let me say I’ve been completely overwhelmed by the love and support I’ve been receiving from all of you. I had no idea that I had so many friends and acquaintances that cared so much about me. Every one of your posts brings me comfort and a smile. THANK YOU!!

Since my last update I have been through various tests trying to figure out the exact diagnosis. Yesterday we were in Seattle where we met with doctors at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance/Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center. This is considered one of the best cancer hospitals in the country. We finally have the diagnosis. I have Gastro Esophageal Junction Cancer, or stomach cancer. I will be starting chemo treatment at MSTI (Boise) no earlier than this Friday (11/23). The chemo treatment will be once every three weeks.

Unfortunately, at stage four this is considered a non-curable disease. The actual outcome depends on many factors including how my body responds to treatment. I’m hopeful I’ll get a positive reaction from the treatments and extend my life to many more years.

More importantly, I know I have something called the “X” Factor going for me. This is the superpower combination of prayer, positive thinking, and all of you. My “X” Factor does not show up on a statistic sheet. And cancer has never seen an “X” Factor like the one I’ve got. It’s my personal “X” Factor that gives me hope every day when I wake up in the morning. Miracles do happen, but can only happen if you welcome prayer and believe with God you can achieve incredible things. I BELIEVE!

I like Isaiah 41:10 which states: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

A special thank you goes out to my extended family for being such generous hosts in Seattle the past few days.

Love always and wishing all of you a Happy Thanksgiving, Steve