Make new friends and keep the old ~ One is silver and the other gold.

They were biking into the wind, a wind they hadn’t noticed on the first half of the ride.  But once they circled back toward town, the breeze became apparent.  And occasional strong gusts stirred up dust and debris, which added another challenge.  Alan and Julene had taken the lead for most of the outing, leaving  Steve and Kelly to chat  – but now Steve too had pulled slightly ahead.  Probably trying to act as a windbreak for Kelly.  Even after a year of chemo and a tough battle against cancer, he was still strong and fit – and always thinking of others.

The ride out had been beautiful.  The tree lined path was glorious in its fall colors, and the reflections on the river, magnificent.  And as they rode, Steve had talked about a lot of things – the joy of having Karlie home, training, and working with him at Simplot – the motivators that had driven him in his incredible effort to complete the Boulder Half-Ironman  – the honor he felt speaking to hundreds of oncology professionals about the non-medical elements of his cancer experience – and his birthday party.  Mostly, he talked about the party!

The strong winds had begun to carry their voices away, making it difficult to continue their conversation,  so they retreated into silence, each lost in thought.  As she rode, Kelly’s mind replayed the events of the the party! – the birthday party that she and Alan had hosted for Steve.  Today’s bicycle outing had been an impromptu way for the four friends to decompress and debrief after the previous evening’s big event – and her mind was still whirling with memories of the party  – and everything that had led to it.

The story began over two years earlier, on a beautiful evening in August of 2011, when Steve, Julene, Alan, and Kelly met for dinner.  It had been a typical summer day in Boise: clear blue skies and a scorching sun.  And, as was also typical, this led to a perfect evening of outdoor dining. That had met on the shady little patio of the 36th Street Bistro, with a soft breeze, the fragrance of summer flowers, and sounds of water flowing in the ornate three-tiered fountain.  Everyone was healthy then, and the four friends had met to enjoy a nice meal and the opportunity to get caught up on each others lives.

Once they had placed their orders and were sipping beer and wine, Steve had grabbed everyone’s attention with his customary opening, “Hey, guys!”  He then announced that Alan and Kelly should put October 22nd on the calendar.  He was turning 50 and the Andrews were having a party!  The details were still in the works, but Steve had a vision.  He wanted a big party, filled with friends and family.  He planned to invite people he knew from his childhood, and his high school and college years, too.  He wanted to include his tennis buddies, and triathlete training companions, and work colleagues, and neighbors.  And family too, lots of family. He didn’t yet know where they would hold the celebration, but he knew that it would be someplace big, because there had to be space for pingpong.

“Why pingpong?” – Kelly had asked.  And Steve had explained.  First, he really enjoyed a good game of pingpong. Second, he thought it would be a great way to break the ice and help bring together the many people from the different aspects of his life.  It was important to him that his diverse friends meet, mix, and mingle.  There would definitely be pingpong.

Unfortunately, the Andrews’ world turned upside down before Steve’s birthday arrived.  In mid-September, Julene was diagnosed with cancer.  She had surgery, countless medical appointments, and then began to prepare for chemotherapy.  Steve’s birthday became a lower priority and turned into a smaller party than Steve had dreamed of – there was no pingpong.

Two years later, a couple of months before Steve’s 52nd birthday, Kelly remembered that summer evening, the original plans for Steve’s 50th birthday and, mostly, Steve’s enthusiasm for the huge celebration.  She had fond memories of a party thrown for her father during his battle with cancer – a party given by a close family friend – and she wondered if she and Alan could host a party for Steve.  A party that would live up to the one Steve had imagined for his 50th.

After mulling over the idea, Kelly got in touch with Julene and asked if a party was in the works – and if not, could she and Alan throw one?   Steve and Julene loved the idea, so they all met to discuss the details over dinner.  The date was set for Saturday, October  26. Steve and Julene started working on the guest list, and Alan and Kelly got busy getting their home ready for a big event.

In early October, the party started to take shape.  Julene and Kelly addressed fifty envelopes and mailed out the invitations.  And when the RSVP’s started rolling in, it was apparent that a whole lot of people cared for Steve, a lot!  Over eighty people from all parts of Steve’s life enthusiastically responded, YES!

On the day of the party, Mother Nature smiled on the Andrews and Andersons.  The lingering, late indian summer meant warm sunshine and glorious fall color.  It was a beautiful day for a party.  Alan fired up the grill and slow-cooked several racks of barbecued ribs, a special treat for Steve.   Kelly made some big salads to keep the menu healthy – and put out the silver-and-gold University of Idaho Vandal themed decor to honor Steve’s alma mater.  After Julene’s brother Rob stopped by with the final party essential – a keg of beer – and the pingpong table had been leveled (yes, there would be pingpong) the stage had been properly set.

As the party time approached, Steve, Julene, JeNelle, and Cory arrived ahead of the guests, and filled every spare table in the house with scrumptious appetizers.  Steve carefully displayed the special “Simplot’s Toughest Triathlete” flag that Rich had carried up Mt. Kilimanjaro.  And then Sharon and Doug arrived with Steve’s birthday cake. The preparations were complete and they were ready for the guests to arrive.

And then, at the stroke of six, the guests started streaming in.  And just as Steve had dreamed, they were a testimony to his diverse interests – and his strong character.  His old tennis buddies came.  And his fellow triathletes came.  Childhood friends came.  School companions came. Work colleagues came.  Neighbors came.  And, of course,  family came.  The house filled to the brim, and it was beautiful.

And, perhaps, amidst the many beautiful moments that evening, the most breathtaking were when Steve spoke to the whole group.  True to form, Steve had prepared a few words to share.  But it wasn’t a formal or stiff speech, the words were honest and raw.

Just before the cake was served, when everyone was clustered together to sing “Happy Birthday”, Steve addressed the crowd.  He was a storyteller at heart and his message was framed in story. He thanked everyone for their support and for being part of his X Factor. No matter how large or small their role, every person present knew that they were deeply appreciated.

Next, he reaffirmed his full awareness of his situation.  He was prepared to move on to the next phase of God’s plan, but he was fighting to continue his work on this Earth with his friends and loved ones.  Hearts grew heavy and the room was silent.

And then Steve talked about his battle.  He talked about his chemo treatments and losing his hair.  And then he pointed out the possible benefit of baldness: his swimming speed might improve.  His friends were relieved by his humor, and everyone laughed.

By the end of his speech, everyone present felt deeply connected and a tapestry of new friendships had been woven.  As it turned out, his friends didn’t need pingpong to find a bond, they just needed to see each other through Steve’s eyes.  Each knew they were fortunate to know Steve, and they appreciated the opportunity to know him even better through his many other friends.

On her bike, and lost in her thoughts as she rode along the Boise Greenbelt, Kelly remembered every detail of the previous evening.  All of those people there to celebrate Steve.  All of those people who came to honor a special friend.

The images of the smiles and hugs – and the love that had flowed in her home – led Kelly to reflect on friendship.  Among the countless qualities that made Steve so very special, friendship was one that really stood out.  In every part of Steve’s life, work-play-school-home-competition-family, Steve presented the same kind, generous, courageous, and inspiring self.  And it didn’t matter if someone had known Steve for forty years or four months – they were equally amazed by his incredible strength of character.  Steve’s appreciation of each individual, for their own special qualities, was genuine and sincere, and that special quality in Steve drew people to him.

    “The ultimate touchstone of friendship…is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.”   David Whyte

CaringBridge Posts

Birthday Trip to Flagstaff
By Steve Andrews — Oct 21, 2013 11:06pm

I wanted to give you a quick update on how and what I’ve been doing.

Julene and I just returned from a trip to Flagstaff to visit Karlie at NAU.   Michael was able to join us as well from San Jose.   It was Homecoming weekend for NAU, but for us it was a birthday celebration as Karlie (10/2), Michael (10/12) and I (10/22) all have October birthdays.  Some of the highlights included visiting the Grand Canyon (thank you Washington D.C. for the reopening) and the NAU Homecoming Football game.  We had some quality family time together which was fantastic.  Thanksgiving will be the next time we’re all together.

A few weeks ago I attended a Reel Recovery Men’s retreat for cancer patients.   Reel Recovery is a nationwide non-profit organization that invites cancer patients for a weekend session together.   At this retreat I bonded with ten of the most courageous and inspiring men that I’ve ever met.  We shared our stories, shed some tears, laughed, and most importantly learned how to fly fish.   I’m so grateful to Reel Recovery for giving me this opportunity.

On the medical front I’m doing well.   I’m in the middle of an eight session chemo called FOLFIRI.   I’ve been getting this every two weeks.  Based on my scan of September 25th I’m responding well to this chemo.  My next scan will be in early December.  I’m feeling strong and praying that I will continue to show progress in shrinking the tumors.  Based on how I feel I’m very optimistic that my next scan will show another good report.  My doctors are also very pleased with my progress.

I continue to work full time and enjoy being with my co-workers.   I’ve got a huge fan club at Simplot and they keep me pumped up to keep fighting.   They are big part of my X Factor.  Thank you Team Simplot!

We’ve been doing research on new drugs which could help me later.   It’s amazing the progress the drug companies are making in the fight against cancer.   We are monitoring these new drugs and are ready to pursue when the timing is right.   But right now I’m doing well with the current regimen.

I’ve reached my one year anniversary (October 2013) living with cancer.  Last year at this time I was given one year to live.  Well I’ve made it through year one, and ready to move on to many more years.  I’m treating this fight against cancer just like an Ironman.  It’s a long journey, and you don’t always feel 100%, but you just keep moving forward.   It doesn’t have to be fast…you just have to keep moving step by step.

I continue to receive encouraging emails from people I’ve never met.   Usually they’ve heard my story from someone else.  Very cool to get these messages!

I cannot overemphasize how much your thoughts and prayers mean to me.   A big part of my encouraging fight against cancer is because of YOU!   My X Factor continues to grow and is gaining more momentum every day.   A big thank you to every one of you!

I feel God’s presence wherever I go.   And I know he has a plan for me.   I’m on board for wherever it goes.  And I know it will be great!

Until next time……..have a great Fall season and God Bless all of you.
Steve

November Update
By Steve Andrews — Nov 16, 2013 6:00pm

Since today is a wet and cold Saturday afternoon, I thought it would be a good time to stay inside and give you an update.

Last month I celebrated my 52nd birthday.  Our good friends Kelly and Alan  hosted a party for me.  We had a great time with family and friends.  The evening was topped off with some great ping pong battles.

Work is going well.  I recently attended a Simplot AgriBusiness Leadership Conference in Orange County, CA.  Last year I was unable to attend this conference due to my illness.  It was great to get back this year and see co-workers from all over the country.  Everyone at the conference was excited to see me and gave me more encouragement to continue the fight.  I’m so blessed to have a strong support team at Simplot.  After the conference Julene and I spent several days in beautiful Palm Desert, CA visiting her parents, Doug and Sharon, where they spend their winters.  Our friend Dale  joined us and we did our “Triathlon training camp”.  We swam, biked and ran every day.

On Monday, November 18th I have my 20th chemo treatment.  I’m currently getting my treatments every three weeks.  Sometime in the next few weeks I’ll have a scan.  I feel good so I’m optimistic that it will be a good report.  I will continue on the current chemo regimen until it does not work anymore.  We have several other options to use in the future.  Obviously, the ultimate goal is to totally wipe out the cancer.  Every day the drug companies are coming up with some exciting new cancer drugs.  My goal is to continue the chemo treatments until we find the one which cures me.

I’ve started eating a whole food, plant based diet.  During her nutrition studies Julene has found numerous studies that suggest that a whole food, plant based diet can reverse cancer.  Cancer doesn’t like this diet and can starve itself with these foods.  This diet has been difficult for me as I’ve been a meat lover person my entire life.  Say goodbye to burgers, steaks, and combo pizzas.  Now I’m eating fresh fruits and vegetables and enjoying them!  Processed foods and dairy foods are not allowed either.  I’m trying to stay completely away from cheese.

I recently had the opportunity to speak at a cancer conference sponsored by St. Luke’s and St. Alphonsus.  They wanted me to speak from the perspective of the cancer patient.  Nearly 200 health care professionals were in attendance.  I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and I got positive feedback from several audience members.

Thanksgiving is in a few weeks, and our children Michael and Karlie will be home.  It will be great to have the entire family together.

Why am I doing so well?   A big reason is all of you!   All of our prayers are being answered.  I’m convinced that I have the best supporting team and that is every one of you!   Thank you for all you do.  I know that I’ll continue to have good and bad days.  But so do all of you.  I know that God and Jesus are with me every day.  And they have a plan for me and I’m on board for whatever that is.

I want to wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving and God Bless all of you.

Steve