These changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes,
Nothing remains quite the same.
Through all of the islands and all of the highlands,
If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.
Jimmy Buffett
He stood in a quiet space outside the restaurant, his back to the parking lot. His posture showed fatigue, not his typical upbeat, energetic stance. His signature smile was replaced with heavy lines of worry. Steve was on the phone with his physician.
The diagnosis was not good. Cancer. The initial tests indicated lymphoma, but this was very preliminary and there were still more tests to run. Steve ended the call, tried to shake off his fear, and headed back to the party.
A group of friends and family were all gathered for dinner before the Jimmy Buffett concert. Everyone had been looking forward to the event, and Steve wasn’t going to bring a somber mood. He lifted his shoulders and bounced up the stairs and into the restaurant.
The pub was buzzing with a lively crowd of Parrot Heads. The festivities were a sharp contrast to the feelings that hung over him. He wouldn’t succumb to the anxiety that would have overwhelmed most people; he gave his usual friendly wave and dynamic smile and joined Julene.
He’d try to wait until the evening was over to tell her about the phone call – just to spare her from this bad news for a while longer. This would be difficult for her to hear – so soon after her own battle with cancer – when life was almost settling back to something normal.
But Julene could read him like a book. High School sweethearts. Engaged during their college years. Married for almost twenty-eight years. Two beautiful children. Soul mates. One look and she knew something was wrong.
She pulled him aside and asked about the phone call. Upon hearing the diagnosis, she suggested they go home. Immediately. But he loved being around friends and family – this was where he wanted to be. And besides, Steve absolutely loved Jimmy Buffett! He’d been a Buffett fan for over thirty years and had been looking forward to this concert for months. His 51st birthday was coming up in a few days and this was one of his celebrations. He simply would not miss it.
Just a few days earlier, Steve had returned from a trip to Vietnam. It was part of the Boise State University Executive MBA program, and an exciting opportunity. The J.R. Simplot Company, his employer, had given him the honor of sponsoring him in the program, and he wanted to make the most of each experience. Unfortunately, the trip had been marred with nagging stomach and back pain. He was strong – not one to let physical discomfort slow him down – but this had gotten to him.
In truth, strong is an understatement. Steve was tough as nails, and his daily routine was rigorous. His days started at 5 AM, when he headed to the Downtown Y for a swim, or the Boise Racquet and Swim Club for an invigorating game of tennis. Next, he generally arrived at the office early, before the rest of his staff, where he brewed the coffee and scanned the Wall Street Journal before throwing all of his energy into the demands of his day.
And once his workday ended, he turned his attention to his evening activities. His current major commitment was the EMBA program, which meant studying, studying, studying. It was a full load, but Steve loved every minute. As a Certified Public Accountant, with many years of experience and an established career in accounting and financial management, he was a valuable contributor and mentor to his study team.
His job and the intense graduate program were demanding – and would have been more than a full load for most people – but Steve wasn’t most people. Intense challenge energized him. He’d reach down and summon the strength to tackle whatever life threw at him, and then ask for more.
His response to extreme challenge may have been part of the reason that he’d gotten so hooked on his current athletic endeavors – triathlons. He’d started small, just a little Y-Not-Tri sponsored by Boise’s YMCA. In the several years that had passed since that first experience, he had progressed to a full Ironman: an intense day of competition that involved 140.6 miles of swimming, biking, and running. Even during his short summer break from the EMBA program, when most of his peers were enjoying some well deserved down-time, Steve took the opportunity to compete.
Steve’s positive attitude toward life and his physical fitness and determination were certainly assets in the health challenge he was about to face. But these weren’t his only sources of strength. He was a Christian, with a deep faith in God’s promise. And he had close family and friends, and hundreds of people who would do anything for him. It was all of these things that gave him strength and courage, and inspired him to fight his upcoming battle.
The several weeks that followed that initial phone call from his physician were not easy. The initial diagnosis turned out to be incorrect, but it took many weeks of medical tests before an exact diagnosis and a treatment plan were identified. Throughout that frightening period of personal upheaval and an unknown future, the back pain that had emerged as the first sign of this devastating disease continued to increase. And without an accurate diagnosis, Steve’s doctors could do little to ease his pain.
But true to his nature, Steve didn’t let fear or pain overwhelm him. And he did not wait for the medical doctors to determine his future. Whatever the diagnosis, he knew he was in for a battle, and he immediately got to work recruiting his team.
First on Steve’s agenda was to gather his prayer squad. He met with Douglas Peake, his favorite, and rather unconventional, minister at Foothills Christian Church. An immediate call for prayers went out to the full congregation – and Pastor Peake and the church Elders provided important comfort to Steve. He also relied heavily on his small prayer and Bible study group to help him make sense of his diagnosis.
Next up was his special ‘medical research’ group. This was made up of a few of his extended family members. None were medical professionals, but all were smart, tenacious, and innovative thinkers. He knew that he’d need this type of support to navigate the complex medical system and fully understand all of his options. This group would also play an important role in researching possible alternative treatments that members of the traditional medical community couldn’t offer.
Steve’s team of medical professionals was excellent and he trusted them completely. But he knew that he wanted to cover all his bases. He knew that non-physical elements, such as attitude, faith, and love would be just as important as medical treatments. It was through this very holistic approach that Steve navigated the world of cancer.
Steve’s CaringBridge Story (11/9/2012)
“Life is a journey.” That is what Pastor Douglas Peake said when we told him of my situation. Let me bring you up to date on what’s going on in my life.
I had a fantastic summer! My Executive MBA Program at Boise State kept me very busy during the school year. I took advantage of my free time by going “all in” with my athletic obsession – triathlons. I did three 70.3 Ironmans – Boise, Lake Stevens, and Boulder. My friend, Dale, and I raced all three and had a great time traveling together. I capped the race season off by finishing my first sub 6 hour 70.3 race at Boulder – finishing at 5:56. I did one more race in September, Hidden Springs Duathlon – finishing 3rd in my age group! It was September 15th and I was in the best shape of my life.
The following week, I started to experience some minor stomach and back pains. Nothing major, just a nagging ache. An occasional Tylenol made the pain go away. However, this did not stop me from going to Park City, Utah with Julene and our tennis buddy Steve to visit our friend Craig for his annual MOFO mountain bike ride. We had a great time!
During my MBA trip to Vietnam in October, the pain increased in frequency and magnitude. Upon returning to Boise, I went to the doctor and we started some tests. Initially, we thought I had lymphoma, however, after a biopsy it was determined that I have Stage 4 cancer. Doctors are still investigating which type of cancer I have, but they suspect pancreatic cancer.
The prognosis for this cancer is dismal. I am a very optimistic person, but I know the odds are stacked against me. But, as you know, I will fight this with all that I’ve got. I consider this an opportunity for me to show my love to my friends and family. I have been amazed at the support I have received. I am truly blessed to have such a large support group. My biggest fans are my family, including Julene, Michael, and Karlie! I am so proud of my children and who they are.
I have more tests and procedures the week of November 12th. Chemotherapy will begin on Monday, November 19th.
Bottom line… I consider this a win – win situation. If I conquer this disease I will have more time to positively impact others in the world. If cancer prevails, I will have the joyous opportunity to cross into the Pearly Gates of Heaven. I am at peace with whatever direction God wants me to take.
I’ll update this CaringBridge site as much as possible. I appreciate all the love and support you have given me.
Keep the Faith,
Steve