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“A feminist is a man or a woman who says ‘Yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today, and we must fix it. We must do better.” – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Part 1: Bloom & Buzz

Children are often referred to as “little sponges,” they’re small humans that soak up information about the world around them that starts with observations, experiments, exploration, and other types of cognition. These young minds absorb both the blatant and subtle messages they receive through the individuals who help mold their minds like family, teachers, friends, and the information they learn in school and their culture. Sexism, holding prejudiced views or beliefs based on a person’s sex or gender identity, is a concept that children start to learn about from a young age. They are taught about gender roles and the treatment of sexes in everyday activities and expectations put on them by their society. Children develop sexist and anti-sexist views through various channels, not from just one pathway.

As young minds develop, one of the first sounds they hear in infancy is their parents’ voices talking between themselves, them (the baby), and others. A large portion of this communication is storytelling or relatable narratives. Bedtime stories where boys are always the hero and girls are commonly the damsel in distress, or scenes in kids’ movies where the mom’s stay at home and dads “work to make money” sends the message to children that they are expected to conform to a specific narrative. For a young child, believing that one must strive to fit a set narrative can be hindering and, in a way, dangerous. These children get stuck on something like gender-specific narratives. They may feel that they cannot push societal boundaries, reaching achievements outside of that one-story mindset. Stories can be used to dispossess and malign, but they can also empower and equip children to dismantle sexism and become anti-sexist (Adichie, 2009). Especially while they are young, children are vulnerable and impressionable; they will read into narratives and find familiarity. Part of what makes children’s books so popular when they are given stories that are fairer and express equality and equity of sexes; they are more likely to follow that narrative.

Narratives are how people relate to one another and develop relationships. Still, they are also how we learn about social constructs, societal beliefs and expectations, and how we know to play our role in the environment in which we live. From a young age, children begin to notice the value and worth of a person’s sex and what is and isn’t expected of them. In predominantly male lead societies, women are socially expected to make themselves quieter, smaller, and listen to men’s guidance. When children observe these interactions, they internalize what they see as to how they should act and react, though there are some outliers, Chimamanda Adichie shares her story in her TedTalk “We should all be feminists.” Adichie explains her experience, growing up in Nigeria, Africa, where men are society’s leaders. Women are expected to get married, have children, and stay home to care for them. Chimamanda aspired to be a leader, and even in childhood, she didn’t understand why the males in her school would receive privileges simply because they were male, and the females did not. As she got older, Adichie continued to push the social norms, becoming a confident feminist who believed in equity for all, not just men or women. She learned that women are just as capable as men to be leaders, entrepreneurs, or anything they hoped to achieve.

In class, we watched the BBC film, The Secret World of Babies, where we learned that babies are more than just cute blobs, but young inquisitive minds understanding to investigate the world around them and understand more than we realize. Developmental scientists featured in that film showed the various tests they were able to run with babies to understand better how they work both physically and cognitively. Through research methods like observational studies and experimental studies, developmental scientists can understand better various types of development such as perception, action, cognition, morality, social behavior, and emotions (Keil, pg. 8). All these areas of development help form our beliefs and ideals. Though some would like to argue that it’s either nature or nurture that truly affects development, we discussed how it’s a bit of both in class. It is in our nature to nurture, and while some attributes about our environment may be highly influential, some innate qualities within us help develop other characteristics (Gopnik, pg. 13).

Parents should take from this that what they say about children’s minds being like sponges is incredibly accurate. Parents should be cautious about what they say even around babies whom they may have previously thought were unable to make any sense of what was being said. This sponge-like quality of children’s brains should be utilized to create a narrative for a child that supports anti-sexist rhetoric. As the kid ages, they have more agency over their lives and can contribute to complex conversations with a better understanding than previous generations. This can help the overall perception that society has about children being too young to understand or participate in discussions, helping break down barriers related to the patriarchy.

In the documentary “Secret Life of Babies,” they reveal how much language a young child can understand even before language production in the vocal sense is possible. Language became to be evident with the twins that had deaf parents and were learning sign language. The children demonstrated that they could recall and retell an event that had previously been told to them before that had the level of verbal language to communicate it back. It would follow a similar logic that if children can understand language before they developed spoken/ visual language, they also internalize the themes present within the language. If children are surrounded by sexist language and are understanding the language then by the time they are speaking, those themes will be present. To support the previous statement, when looking at how the central nervous system develops in the first few years of life, the brain is going through the neuronal blooming period and synaptogenesis, which is when the most energy is going into the brain. As the brain is expanding, all of its energy absorbs new information and sorts it. As the brain enters a period of neuronal pruning, the brain is adapting to the society that the child is living within and is getting rid of pathways that do not contribute to the connections deemed relevant and help make the brain more efficient. When damaging language is being repeated to a child, the brain uses this pathway more often, ensuring that it is not pruned. This pathway shapes the way they view the world as children get older, and is why it is so imperative to be careful with language and social cues when around a child.

Where we are in the world can influence our perception of sexism and anti-sexism. In class, we discussed the idea of universal human development and culturally relative growth. A universal or global phenomenon is the development of attention; babies worldwide develop an interest or give attention to stimuli similarly and around the same age. Beliefs about sexism and gender roles are more culturally relative.

In chapter one of Developmental Psychology, the text talks about different developmental phenomena throughout different life phases. The two stages that are relevant here are cognitive and moral development. Cognitive development is explained as the growth of children’s abilities to use and understand information. As this skill is developing, there is variability in how information is processed and integrated into the already existing data network. This comes from children growing within their perceptual systems. When this development is not acknowledged, and sexist language is presented as an example for children, it is unrealistic to think children would not internalize and potentially project harmful rhetoric, mostly when toxic language related to gender is casually used. Examples of harmful language that many people remember from childhood were things like, “are there any strong boys who can help me get chairs for the assembly.” Many kids can’t understand how harmful statements like that are to self-image and ideas of masculinity and femininity until much later. Language like that shaped perspectives on gender for the worse and the lack of role models challenging this way of thinking and speaking were slim to none.

Moral development is the emergence of what is deemed ‘moral/immoral’ behaviors. It is where the dangers of a single story come in. Something present in both “Narrative Reverberations” and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s video “the dangers of a single story” is the significance of the narratives that are being remodeled and what happens when one allows for only a singular version of a story to be told. What we see is that “[f]rom this perspective, one way that cultural principles are expressed is in terms of the types of narrative practiced routinely” (Miller,2007). When we are routinely creating this narrative that women are weak or just generally create these rigid binary boundaries for gender, no one wins. This narrative hurts men who do not identify with traditional masculine roles and reinforces harmful ideas like that it’s unmanly to express emotions. Also, the Narrative doesn’t create a space for non-binary/fluid individuals and thus ostracised people who don’t meet the binary. Finally, this narrative contributes to a reduction of the control that women have over their lives. This narrative establishes societal expectations for what is considered moral/immoral and often holds women to a double standard. An example of women’s social expectation due to our cultural narrative that is incorrect is that a woman with sex is seen as promiscious and needs to be protected. In contrast, for a man, sex is expected and encouraged.

The child’s mind is flexible, easily adaptable, and quick to internalize observed information. Various factors help determine children’s beliefs about the world around them, including anti-sexism and sexism ideologies. They learn through stories, their environment, and the messages received from books and media. Children quickly recognize what is and isn’t an expected social norm and adapt to fit within that environment. The more discussions they hear and conversations they have about equity, equality, and fairness, the more likely they will advocate for all people, not just one sex over another.

In chapter one of Developmental Psychology, the text talks about different developmental phenomena throughout different life phases. The two stages that are relevant here are cognitive and moral development. Cognitive development is explained as the growth of children’s abilities to use and understand information. As this skill is developing, there is variability in how information is processed and integrated into the already existing data network. This comes from children growing within their perceptual systems. When this development is not acknowledged, and sexist language is presented as an example for children, it is unrealistic to think children would not internalize and potentially project harmful rhetoric, mostly when toxic language related to gender is casually used. Examples of harmful language that many people remember from childhood were things like, “are there any strong boys who can help me get chairs for the assembly.” Many kids can’t understand how harmful statements like that are to self-image and ideas of masculinity and femininity until much later. Language like that shaped perspectives on gender for the worse and the lack of role models challenging this way of thinking and speaking were slim to none.

Moral development is the emergence of what is deemed ‘moral/immoral’ behaviors. It is where the dangers of a single story come in. Something present in both “Narrative Reverberations” and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s video “the dangers of a single story” is the significance of the narratives that are being remodeled and what happens when one allows for only a singular version of a story to be told. What we see is that “[f]rom this perspective, one way that cultural principles are expressed is in terms of the types of narrative practiced routinely” (Miller,2007). When we are routinely creating this narrative that women are weak or just generally create these rigid binary boundaries for gender, no one wins. This narrative hurts men who do not identify with traditional masculine roles and reinforces harmful ideas like that it’s unmanly to express emotions. Also, the Narrative doesn’t create a space for non-binary/fluid individuals and thus ostracised people who don’t meet the binary. Finally, this narrative contributes to a reduction of the control that women have over their lives. This narrative establishes societal expectations for what is considered moral/immoral and often holds women to a double standard. An example of women’s social expectation due to our cultural narrative that is incorrect is that a woman with sex is seen as promiscious and needs to be protected. In contrast, for a man, sex is expected and encouraged.

Babies and children are not as fragile as we might think but are incredibly flexible beings. Their brains are developing at a rate to which, if we had developed in this way throughout our lives, at this point, we would be larger than giants. The brain development rate moves to accent the fact that they are taking on immense amounts of information without limits as to what that information may be. They are taking in information through taste, touch, sound, and processing social cues and facial expressions very soon after birth (George, 2005). Young children soak up tremendous amounts of information every day and process the data even better, such as perceiving the immense complexity of the human voice and understanding that it has structured and has meaning (Frank 2014). Throughout their months in the womb, they have developed the fundamental neural structures needed, ready to go for the moment they leave their comfy homes. Then it’s go time. Up until age 5, they go through a blooming period in which billions of neurons are grown, and trillions of more connections are made (at their fastest rates from birth to age 2). The pathways that are used most during this period will be the ones that they keep for life. At age 5, the connections not-much-used will be pruned away, and many brain cells will die (Kleinknecht 2020). During this blooming process, neuroplasticity is at its highest. A whole hemisphere could be taken out with little worry, as the rest of the brain will make up for lost connections and take over the former hemisphere’s job (Island 2020). Knowing all of this and the human child’s incredible strength, we can now understand that this age may be the most opportune time to talk about challenging social issues. For the right beliefs to become deeply embedded into a person, the connections should be made early on, for starting by the age of five, these beliefs will already begin to cement in. Suppose we know that they are soaking up every piece of information outside of themselves. In that case, we can also assume they are learning the biases surrounding them if we aren’t helping them in the right direction from this young age. Instead, ignoring their innocent questions about these things makes their lives more difficult.

All human beings use stories to make sense of the world. By not telling children the story about contemporary social issues, we risk our children learning the wrong story first. This story could vary across cultures. However, the story’s purpose remains the same where the story’s meaning contemporary; we see the differences in how the stories are told and what context across culture. In Miller, Fung, and Koven’s “Narrative Reverberations,” they clearly describe the difference between the purpose of Taiwanese stories and American stories (2007). We see that children in Taiwan are told various stories about places in their lives that they might have made the wrong decision and then told how to correct these behaviors. For example, the child knocked down if a vase deliberately, the story that night would have been about what happened and their behavior should look the next time they walk past a vase. These stories provide structure for the correct behavior and provide a stable place for the children to self reflect. Their stories also reflect their collectivist culture and preoccupation with the well-being of the whole. While in America, children hear more stories about heroes outside of their lives that follow a specific story arc. Any stories told about the children are stories that accentuate the child’s funniness and mask their wrongdoings. These stories can completely change the way the child self reflects. It makes for a much more individualistic culture (Miller, Fung & Koven, 2007). The stories we tell our children can make culture more collectivist or individualist, influencing the narratives around race and sexual identity. These are detrimental to how we need to change culture with future generations if we hope to change.

Looking at a development specifically within gender, most people can see some explicit biases that humans have been carrying the last couple of generations. Many of these biases are based on a binary gendered system. Very little is said about any gender other than male and female. Our story has forced human beings into two specific genders with two specific gender roles to play. Within this binary gendered system, we have some flaws. It is not wrong to be male or female, but some of the baggage carried by each gender causes disscrimination. Firstly, we teach boys to be afraid of fear, weakness, and vulnerability to prove their masculinity. If you identify as a man, why should there be pressure to prove it? Having to prove masculinity by not crying because crying shows weakness, ignoring emotions, or not listening to others makes for a very “fragile ego.” One problem we have with raising females is that we teach women to be gentle and cater to men’s fragile egos, allowing them to act in immature ways or be subject to violence (verbal, physical, etc.)(Addichie, 2012). Adichie understands that “we are all social beings, and we internalize ideas from our socialization.” These things that we see as children soon reflect outwards into the world (Addichie 2012). As humans grow older, we often reflect these biases in the language that we use. Suppose we can simply change the way we speak, specifically around children, to use they/them pronouns when referring to another person, regardless of familiarity. In that case, we can start a different categorization of gender for the child’s mind to develop around. Just this simple act of acknowledging other people as genderless help can take the pressure off of the binary gender system that makes us subconsciously belittle anything other than male. By doing this, humans might see people as people more easily and not overwhelmingly for the genders they express.

Part 2: How Things Work 

Babies begin their development outside of the womb by making internal copies of their lived experiences through their senses: sight, sound, touch, taste. These are their building blocks on which they build the rest of their world (Kleinknecht 2020). In Piagetian terms, this phase is called the sensorimotor period. During this period, the child is exploring their body within this word. They learn to grab, suck, throw, crawl, and walk (Keil, 145-185). Children’s data-collecting machines are working their fastest and accurately from a very young age. Babies can recognize objects from different angles and perspectives and see all colors vibrantly and within the first four weeks of life can distinguish between hues. Humans rely mainly on vision as it is the primary sense; therefore, young infants gather an impressive amount of data through their vision. Hearing is also remarkable in that babies can differentiate between all the languages. Only as they get older do children gain a selective hearing for their culture’s language through synaptic pruning. This gets rid of the pathways that are made that are not often used, allowing children to focus on the language that they will be using for the rest of their lives (Keil 77-113).  The pruning process is guided by environmental and genetic factors, all of which help reduce the synaptic connections and organize schemas.

A similar process of synaptic pruning occurs with the motor movement as they start with big sweeping motions. As they mature, they can dial into the specific delicate movements that adult humans possess (Keil 77-113). However, without the basis of the grander gestures that smaller ones couldn’t have happened. This is why it is so important that we don’t speed this phase up because if they don’t take the time to do this, they won’t have the schemas to perform these tasks later on in life.

An example of pushing children to use their superhuman abilities to learn what’s called a secondary task -because it is non-essential to survival- is little Elizabeth. She has learned to “read”‘ as 17 months old, but at what cost? Instead of focusing on developing her motor skills, her parents have guided her to focus on reading, which, in the long run, may impair her future comprehension abilities (Kleinknecht, 2020).

Humans acquire language over time; initially, it’s a rapid learning process, gaining new words and understanding of tens of thousands of words in the first few years of childhood and adolescence, followed by a continued gathering of linguistic knowledge at a slower pace throughout adulthood. If children were to be in an environment that personified antisexist beliefs more than sexist views, their brains would be processing those ideas more immediately. More specifically, our brains begin to process language through sounds and parts of speech (Gaskell, 2020). When humans acquire new vocabulary and functions of speech, there is an increase in synaptic response in the hippocampus; over a few days, it is thought that the new sound or word is then integrated into the cortex where our existing knowledge of words exist (Gaskell, 2020). Once we have gained an understanding of words and their meaning, language and perception then influence our thoughts; this concept is known as linguistic determinism (Keil, 290).

This furthers the idea that by encouraging and providing antisexist dialog during a child’s development, they are less likely to hold sexist views. Through these amazing senses, their worlds are created. During development, these perceptions are guided by their caregivers and the cultures that they live in. The manner in which the child has nurtured changes how developing humans organize their worlds. In fact, babies are very sensitive to the ways that “social agents” interact with each other (Keil  145-185). This is apparent when looking at studies that involve Action at a distance event which is where one block moves towards the other block without touching and the other block moves away in comparison to the launching event in which the two blocks touch. Then the same sequence of actions is played out but with living humans instead. In this study, the younger infants reacted when the blocks that touched each other moved away from each other but did not understand the action at a distance situation until seeing it when two living humans did it. They reacted the same to when the two humans touched and when they didn’t, understanding that two humans do not have to touch each other in order to affect one another (Keil  145-185).

Not only can infants recognize social agents from inanimate objects but they even appear to be able to track where people are looking which can be a very subtle action.  Additionally, there is plenty of evidence suggesting that infants can understand that goal of the “social agents.”  They can infer their goal “based on the social agents capacity to respond at a distance and contingency information” (Keil  145-185). If they can understand this then you bet they understand social interactions when people discriminate against other humans even through body language. The way that someone responds to another person by slightly moving away from them in shared social spaces or the facial expressions made by one human to another are examples of the response at a distance that infants can observe. Even from this young age, there is a level of awareness of this social habit, and regardless of whether they understand it or not it will be remembered and replicated. As infants get older and older these social abilities only increase. They have a better grasp of social interactions than we give them credit for and it is really important to understand this and use this to our advantage when teaching children about social issues. Because without guidance by adults, a child who has seen patterns of discrimination will have to make up their own narrative about why social interaction is acted out in a certain way.

In “The Growth of Knowledge” chapter  of Developmental Psychology: The Growth of Mind and behavior textbook by Frank Keil, we get a more in depth explanation of the formal operational period. The most important aspect of this stage for this paper is hypothetico-deductive reasoning, which is explained as the ability to think about concepts in ways that may differ from the current reality. This framework is how I will be analyzing how children internalize their lived experiences. What is important to note from chapter nine is the point that this stage of development is not thought to be achieved by all children and that it is also likely lacking in a lot of adults. If that is the case then it becomes the responsibility of the caretakers to guide the development of this skill. This has come up in lectures when referring to how cartoons often depict mature themes and how without the guidance of someone older there is the potential to draw inaccurate conclusions about the mature themes. It is fair to say that we live in a society that favors (among many things) a binary system of gender and that within the binary favors the success of the patriarchy above all else.  When that is the message that society is giving to children it is important that caretakers are being examples of anti-sexist messaging.

What may also be contributing to difficulties in reaching the formal operational period is processing done in a domain-specific way as opposed to  in domain-general way. The development of domain-specific cognition refers to the development of reasoning in one domain and not a general development of all of your skills as you improve cognition. I think this could help to explain why first sexist ideology is still present in society, and additionally how many children and then adults do not reach the formal operational period. In regards to how it may seem ridiculous to many that people still hold sexist beliefs today it makes some sense that if we do not develop all cognition as generally as I at least had pictured it. Speaking personally I had this misconception that as you developed cognitively that everything just made more sense, completely ignoring the active work that was going into this development. With that being said, this framework for looking at cognitive development should not excuse the actions that are sexist. To address my second point, if cognitive development is not as generalizable as it had seemed, this goes to explain a block that many face in getting to the formal operational period. If a main point of this period is that the person in it has learned to think outside of their current reality those who believe they haven’t experienced sexism may find it easier to deny and perpetuate it rather than develop their reasoning. Especially if what seems to be common knowledge about cognitive development if you’re not a student of it is that it develops linearly and generalizes well. We also know that once a belief system has been established the cognitive dissonance that comes with undoing that belief system can be hard to overcome. In the example of sexism, worst case scenario, you’re raised to believe sexism doesn’t exist and that cisgender men are superior and are meant to look and act a certain way and this goes unchallenged your whole life and it is believed to not affect you. If those conditions are all in place it would make it hard for cognitive development related to gender issues to progress. Not to center the conversation of sexism around cis-het men, however what seems to stop a lot of progress because they are holders of a lot of power in society is the painting of feminism as a selfish belief and has no use to them. However, anti-sexist beliefs not only bring to light the systematic oppression women presenting and non-binary individuals face but address the harmful effects of toxic masculinty.

Children piece together their world through the gathering of information. As they grow and develop their schemas about their environments, they’re able to infer the socially acceptable behavior that is expected of them. Through observation of behavior, social interactions and verbal exchanges children begin to process information about cultural pressures (sex, race, age, etc.) through all 5 senses. Hearing and seeing these interactions children learn to reflect what they observe throughout their childhood. Children need guidance during these developmental periods to better understand the sexist and other prejudice instances they will observe and/or experience throughout their life. One of the best practices to support their antisexist maturation is to be conscientious of our environments when presented with a sexist experience and to talk to our children about what they’ve observed, why it happened, and how it could have been handled differently. This works for children who are old enough and have developed language enough to hold a conversation. However for younger children it is about modeling anti-sexist behaviors and avoiding the use of generic language. Examples of this look like saying “all nonbinary people look androgynous or women hate sports.” It is additionally important to note that even speaking against the stereotypes but still using generic language can be harmful, this would sound like “women like sports.” That is because both create a sense of essentialism and assume homogeneity. When topics like this come up a simple switch for caretakers to model is to use language such as “ some women like sports and some do not”.

Part 3: How people work

Throughout history, the partnership between nature and nurture concerning child development has been discussed, expanding further on beliefs of the two concepts that previously caused them to appear as individual occurrences. It was once believed that either nature or nurture had the most significant influence on child development and that if one side took over, the other was no longer needed or as influential. Time has shown that both nature and nurture are causal forces that influence development simultaneously, making it that much more challenging to separate the two ideas. Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Systems Theory is a detailed expansion of the simplified role of nurture’s impact on development and the multivariable approach to looking at environmental factors (Kleinknecht, 2020). The Ecological Systems Theory emphasizes that a focus on context matters. To understand nature’s role is to look at the family or the school and the culture, and the larger aspects of the environment (Keil, 2020). The consequences of ignoring this idea that environment entails all of these levels assume a cisgender, hetero-normative, white, male experience. Doing so means that minimally the performed research is not generalizable across populations even though it may be portrayed and utilized to pass laws and establish norms. It can also mean the continuation of harmful rhetoric related to gender and gender norms in a more extreme case. The continual use of broad generalizations supports the lack of representation and miscategorization of those who do not subscribe to the binary system; meaning there is an increased potential for escalated levels of anger and higher rates of completed attempts of suicide for individuals assigned male at birth (AMAB), and escalated rates of victimization of individuals assigned female at birth (AFAB).

Children develop a sense of self along with the help of  Biographical memory. Keil’s book describes five ways of seeing the self, ecological self, interpersonal self, extended self, private self, and conceptual self (2020). These are all distinct ways that an individual thinks about what it means to be them. The ecological self uses perceptive capacities and motor reactions to build this sense of individuality. A newborn has this kind of sense of self instantly; they have an inherent sense of being. Next is the interpersonal self, which includes a sensitivity to reciprocity and the timing of social interactions. This sense of self happens automatically when interacting with another creature that has its own goal. The extended self is the self that moves through time. Time is seen differently depending on culture; therefore, this self can change based on its present culture. It is the thought that the individual is linked to the past and the future (Keil, 2020). This self is where autobiographical memory comes into play and gives us what we consider a more concrete and measurable sense of self (Fuvish & Nelson, 2004). Then comes the private self, which is the understanding that as an individual, there are things that only one knows that no one else has the privilege of access to unless the one chooses to share the experience. Lastly, there is the conceptual self: the understanding that there are roles that a person occupies through their lives, such as gender, family, ethnic, and national roles. Conceptual self happens around the preschool age (Keil, 2020). Our culture inherently influences this sense of self. It gives us a place to organize ourselves within society and is the one that we simultaneously have little power to stop but can influence future generations.

Gender Identity is a category of identity that falls under the conceptual self. Gender identity means having a clear sense of being male or female in most cases. Children first learn the binary gender constructs around two years of age. The construct includes biological and social aspects of gender. For example, how a male or female “should look/dress” and about what they “should do/say.” Around four years of age, children begin to have an essentialist view of gender. An “essentialist” view means that the individual believes that a creature’s internal essence reflects something about the outside of a creature; humans try to categorize things to make sense of what they observe. For example, a cat is only a cat if it looks like one, and if it looks like a dog, it is no longer a cat; it is a dog, and the inner essence is different (Rhodes & Mandalaywala, 2017). However, when we put these essentialist views on people, it gets messy because we as humans place values on these inner essences, and somehow the inner essence of a female in history becomes less valuable or less powerful than that of a male. This essentialist perspective is the story that naturally comes during development but interestingly enough, somewhere between the age of 10 and adulthood, people begin to start to see gender as a product of culture, not as something that makes up who that individual is because their essence is what they look like on the outside (Keil, 2020).  We know that culture shapes these identities and that there will always be people who cannot conform to this binary viewpoint for some reason or another. We shape the culture; we shape the mind.

There is a focus on building the existing knowledge of how children develop perceptual and language skills in modern-day society. Children are not inherently sexist, nor are they oblivious to the differences of the sexes. However, this does mean that they are not heavily influenced by the language used by those around them concerning gender and are aware of other’s actions that are modified by gender and gender stereotypes. This concept can be broken down into the type of generic language used by individuals with whom children spend most of their time. The idea of generic language explains that generic language is speaking in broad terms about gender (Keil, 2020). For example, the statement that “girls,” or AFAB individuals, are more nurturing and encourage this structure in playtime by making them children be the mom and cook and take care of the babydoll may appear harmless. In this example, the generic language that is internalized may not be fully understood by caregivers and can serve as the basis for the assumptions that children make about others going forward that can potentially cause harm to themselves and others.

Memory is a cognitive skill that gradually develops over time and progresses throughout childhood. Infantile amnesia, a phenomenon that causes an inability to recall memories from early childhood before roughly 2.5 years old, is common in most individuals but does not entirely disallow all memories’ formation (Keil, 2020). As toddlers begin to explore their world, they will start to act out their perceived experiences through play. A child who sees their parents talk on the phone frequently, for example, will remember what they have witnessed and imitate those actions within their play as a form of cognitive processing. Children are not always imitating their same-sex caregiver’s actions at this age, but the activities of the individuals they spend the most time with, regardless of sex, age, or gender. As time goes on, young children pick up and understand subliminal messaging about gender norms, social tendencies, and stereotypical biases within their environments.

Interestingly, as children are developing, they rely heavily on their social environments for guidance, specifically their parents, when it comes to what they should or should not remember. Studies summarized by Tessler and Nelson have shown that a child’s development is powerfully intertwined to social context (1994). These studies stem from Vygotskian psychology; he was the first to ask children what they thought and realized that language is needed to develop the conscious mind, memory, and sense of self (Klienknecht, 2020). Language is the tool humans use to share experience and learn; they cannot develop as progressively without it. The studies described by Tessler and Nelson describe how children remember events best when their parent(s) had spoken to them about their experience. In one study children went to a museum where the psychologist observed their experiences and later questioned them about what they remembered. Ultimately, the children only remembered the events that had been verbally reviewed with them by the adults present. Children let their parents tell them what is essential to pay attention to build schemas for memory (1994).

The memories children recall from and use during imitation, or imaginative play will become more stable and lasting memories over time are called explicit and implicit memories. When a child engages their explicit memory, they recall an experience that can be consciously stated, like watching a movie with “mommy” or going to the park (Keil, 2020). Implicit memory is derived from experiences that influence the behavior outside of conscious awareness such as, a child waiting to eat with the rest of the family as everyone sits down to eat or the immediate push kick as they sit down on a swing set (Keil,2020). These types of long-term memories are both greatly influenced by their environments and everyday experiences. If a child were to be told that “pink is only for girls” and “hot wheels are only for boys,” this can build a lasting memory that influences them to choose what they have been told is appropriate for their sex assigned at birth. With such a rigid framework, these children no longer feel the freedom to play and explore with a curiosity of the limitless world but have been constrained by gender norms that lock them into gender roles where they may not feel comfortable. When children receive words and phrases about what is “appropriate” for children of different genders, it can lead to semantic memories or knowledge about the world without necessarily remembering where they came from (Keil, 2020). The malleability of a child’s mind allows for the information they receive throughout the day to change more fluidly than adults’ minds. A child who verbally expresses the sentiment “dresses are for girls” can more easily learn to accept and understand why dresses can be for anyone who chooses to wear one than an adult who has less neuroplasticity and more rigid thinking lines. Having multiple discussions with children about equity and equality for all genders will help develop memories that encourage them to be more open and free thinkers than rigid social norm followers. Though these conversations may not form into episodic memory, for children who feel like their social freedoms are limited, the initial discussion about open-mindedness and freedom of self-expression can very well be the moment that changes it all for that child (Keil, 2020). The formation of semantic and episodic memories leads to the development of autobiographical memories or memories of specific personal experiences and events. In the previously described instance, a child can go from feeling isolated and restricted to supported and free enough to gain the confidence to be whomever they are intended to be. Enforcing strict social and gender constructs inhibits children from all types of growth that would otherwise be strengthened by a change in dynamic and supportive autobiographical memories.

Studies have shown that parents speak to their daughters and sons differently about this world, which influences their perception of what it means to be male and female. Parents, specifically mothers, will talk to their daughter in a different reminiscing style than their sons. Reminiscing style is how a parent speaks to their child about what happened in the past. This differentiated talk results in “longer, more detailed, move vivid, and more emotionally laden autobiographical memories” than their male counterparts (Fivush & Nelson, 2004). The concept that a parent guides a child’s memory is essential; it is a great power to influence a small person’s memory, therefore, a huge responsibility and a fantastic tool to aid a child in giving them the skills they need to combat sexism in this culture.

Finally, Vygotsky’s work in education and scientific research has a lasting impact on today’s world.  He highlighted that caregivers could shape how children understand the large variations in individuals’ lived experiences in something as complicated as gender. This concept was highlighted in his skills of the mind (Keil, 2020). The mind’s skills are gradual understanding of the symbolic nature of language, shared goals via socio-dramatic play, shared reading, and kids being in charge of planning their schedule and given support as they follow through with their plans. These skills demonstrated, with the aid of children’s caregivers in and outside of education, allow for increased executive functions and a decrease in externalization. Said more clearly, the utilization of the mind’s tools will enable children more capability for emotional regulation in terms of self-monitoring and motivations towards goals. It also means that children are more supported in creating their schemas for gender (Diamond, 2014). Children are no longer limited to purely external information about gender that says that people who identify a certain way need look or act within certain bounds to remain within their gender.

Throughout children’s development, their increased cognitive skills and knowledge give them insight about themselves and the world they live in. From an early age, the formation of memories influence children’s development and inform children about social and societal expectations. The growth of knowledge and cognitive skills allow children to decide for themselves the type of person they want to be and how they choose to influence others. By having constructive, open, and fluid communication that encourages critical thinking and open mindedness, children are more likely to embrace gender differences, feel supported, and learn how to be an ally to others.

About the Authors

Susie Carr is a senior psychology student at Pacific University, with a focus on children and family. In the years before attending Pacific, she worked most often with children and has plans to do so again after graduating this coming May. As someone who loves working with children, she hopes to influence future generations with similar ideas and concepts written in this paper to help make a better world for those who don’t always feel like they have a place.

Johanna Johnston is a Senior psychology student on the pre-med track at Pacific University. She aspires to have a well-rounded understanding of human health, mind, and body. She hopes that what is discussed in this section can hopefully contribute to a healthy society, where children growing up don’t have to battle the same social issues as past generations.

Jade Cain is a senior Psychology and Criminal Justice Law and Society double major at Pacific University. She currently works in ABA and is passionate about working with kids. She hopes to take from this project the knowledge of how to leave the most positive impact on the children she works with and have a better understanding of how children acquire knowledge to fit their developmental needs.