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I’m sure you’ve heard it, probably more than once. You know, that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend sugarless gum for their patients who chew gum. Well, I’m the 5th dentist.

The truth is, the subject rarely comes up. A patient doesn’t typically come in and say, “Dr. Fluger, I chew gum. Should I choose the regular gum or the gum without sugar?” That just doesn’t happen. In fact, I rarely even see a patient chewing gum in the waiting room. It seems that people who chew gum tend not to chew it on visits to the dentist.

But back to the question. It came in a phone call some years back, from an advertising agency representing the Trident Company. I told them I was eating dinner, but the guy on the line was really nice and really persistent so I took the survey. Yes, I’m a dentist. Yes, I presume some of my patients chew gum. Then the big one:

“Would you recommend sugarless gum for your patients who chew gum?”

Here’s the thing: I never recommend gum. I tell my patients to brush and floss. Sometimes a recommend Waterpik. But I just don’t talk about gum.

The question wasn’t what I recommend but rather would I make such a recommendation. And I decided no, that I would not recommend sugarless gum for my patients who chew gum.

The thing is, I don’t know much about sugarless gum. What is that Xylitol crap? What if it proves to be a deadly carcinogen and I recommend it? Better not to get involved. I could get sued.

The guy from the ad agency is mad at me, but he doesn’t have to carry my insurance.