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Everyone thought Alice had lost her mind when she opened the store, but she was convinced that her business would reach a valuable underserved market. With a little luck, she’d also meet some sweet hunky single men.

That’s how Victor’s Secret, a store featuring men’s intimate apparel, began.

The window was amazing. The words “Men’s Intimates” in giant tall thick letters just below the logo (a silhouette of a reclining male wearing God knows what, if anything at all) caught your eye immediately. The name of the store used black, grey and deep brown with an ornate yet manly font.

The 9 foot tall pictures were almost shocking somehow. The men, most of them topless and buff, wore tight-fitting silk and combed cotton pajamas, tiny thong underwear with sharks on them and other similar attire.

Yes, gay couples shopped there, something Alice was counting on. But straight men shopped too, albeit looking abashed when they entered. Since Alice herself was a hot number, many of the straight men became repeat customers.

Alice had a favorite. Strangely, his name was Victor. Robert Charles Andrew Victor—a.k.a. RCA Victor. He shopped, spent a lot of money and, best of all, flirted. He was as bold as the clothing at Victor’s Secret. Alice was smitten.

Perhaps it was inevitable. It started with coffee, then a quick lunch. They attended parties together, movies, theatre. But he never came home with her. He was a gentleman, too much a gentleman.

Was Victor gay, too? No, nobody who kissed her like that could be gay. Alice felt sure that he was the real deal. But why was he holding back? Did Victor actually have a secret? Maybe a wife and a conscience?

Alice decided to investigate. She hired a private detective to trail Victor and report back. She even installed a secret camera in the dressing rooms of her store. She had to figure this out. It was making her crazy!

The detective found nothing. She had better luck with the camera. Victor went into dressing room three to try on a thong. Then she saw.

Nothing there. He was smooth as a Barbie.