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I truly never expected to see 100. For my whole life it seems, the apocalypse was just around the corner. World War II saw Germany occupy Europe and the Nazis, it appeared, would eventually finish off us Americans. Then we defeated them only to face a communist Soviet Union and their arsenal of potentially world-destroying nuclear weapons.

Meanwhile, we were destroying our air and water, poisoning the environment, speeding us towards a feared silent spring. The population explosion would lead to mass starvation, dislocation and unrest.

Cults heralded the end of the world, and we laughed—nervously—at their confident predictions.

Yeah, I always thought I was a goner, but I’m still here. But the naysayers weren’t quite wrong. The end IS coming.

Yeah, maybe it’ll be a meteor. Some people are worried about that. But I’m seeing the things that are already happening doing the job on us. We see nothing, like frogs in slowly boiling water. Yeah, there’s global warming, and the ongoing poisoning of air and water. Mass extinctions. Disappearing bees. It’s all here.

Of course, it’s not my problem. I’m planning to sleep in heavenly peace while you guys are filled with fear and—if you aren’t too stupid—regret. C’mon. Can you honestly say that you didn’t see all this coming?

Today, I gonna take a walk in my garden. Sit under a shade tree, read a book, sip a mint julep.

My children are dead. I have no grandchildren. That’s it. There’s just me and I’ll be gone soon enough. I haven’t got any sagging skin in this game. It’s all on you.