74

Charlotte had to pinch herself. Was she dreaming or was it actually raining men? They were, in fact, dropping from the sky floating lazily to the ground beneath drab green parachutes.

Yes, they were an invading force from the Federation of European States, and they intended to conquer her country. On the other hand, some were cute and single. She put on a sweet polka dot dress and fixed her makeup.

The invaders, too, were living a happy dream. For as long as they could remember, they lived with an inferiority complex, overshadowed by their more powerful overseas allies, the Americans. But in recent years, the Americans had weakened considerably and the Federation grew bolder. At the first real opportunity—today—the Federation flexed its muscles and made a surprise invasion of their nominal ally.

Happier than Charlotte, happier than the Federation soldiers, the Americans nearly wet themselves with excitement when they realized their homeland was being invaded. Millions grabbed their rifles and handguns. Some joined together, others worked alone. All were excited about the prospect of shooting the enemy. The threat they’d hoped for all their lives, the big battle of good (us) versus evil (them) was finally here!

All they had, pretty much, were rifles and handguns. The faith-based warplanes didn’t work and other Christian war technology was mothballed. But guns were fun and the Americans would get to shoot foreigners, some of whom even spoke French!

When the battle was over, the country was filled with rotting corpses which were manually interred in mass graves. The Europeans, with their superior weaponry, might have won except there weren’t enough of them to occupy the United States, so the survivors went home and the Americans declared victory.

And Charlotte was a June bride.