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They say vaudeville is dead but actually we’ve just taken it underground—and we’re preparing for a big comeback. You know, some of those old street people you see, well, they (actually “we”) are homeless, but there’s more to it than that. We are semi-retired vaudevillians, and we’re still practicing the art on the sly…for now.
Most of us are a little rusty after all these years. I’m a juggler—that’s my shtick. But I can also do a zinging one-liner when needed. More often, though, I’m the feeder for the really funny guys and gals. Oh, and tonight, I’ll be your master of ceremonies.
We’ll start will Lorraine, who’s sagging a bit nowadays, but in the 30s she was really something. I can’t believe she’s saved her pasties. Anyhow, without further ado: Lorraine!
Big round of applause. Big round. And put tips in the hat. No, not there! Lorraine doesn’t do that anymore. Just use the hat. Thank you.
And now, for our next act.
Bubbie! Come out here!
So, Bubbie, I hear you’ve got a new job.
That’s right, Art. I’m an elevator operator.
How do you like it?
It’s got its ups and downs.
[Drum beat! Cymbal crash!]
Do you want to see more? I can’t hear you! All right, then.
That’s what our new shows are like, at least in rehearsals. Similar to the original performances, but with more self-awareness. We know that we’re campy and we’re fine with that. We see ourselves as retro-hip meta-ironic post-modern (but relevant again) show biz professionals.
In down times, like today, people desperately need entertainment. That was true during the first Depression and it’s true now. We are here again because you need us again. Whenever the economy takes another pratfall, we are there: magicians, singers, jugglers, acrobats, dancers and especially comedians in baggy pants.
Of course, the politicians, the business and religious leaders, the pundits—they’re all carneys like us. The difference is that we vaudevillians actually offer something people want: a reason to applaud and laugh.
We are ready for the big time again and everything is boffo!
