54

Maybe it’s the pants. I do wear loud pants. They’re no worse than what golfers and chefs wear, but she apparently found them odd. Certainly wasn’t the shoes. Loafers with tassels. Boring.

But for some reason, she said I’m “very appealing in a quirky way.” Subtle. A brush off, but subtle nonetheless. I took it in stride.

Striding is something I like to do, and if it’s not too presumptuous for me to say, I think I do it rather well. When I got kicked out of college I did some striding. You’d probably call it a walk, but I take long steps. I did the same thing when I won the lottery. I took a…walk with long steps.

So, it’s not atypical of me to take the brush off in stride. It did get me thinking, though. What’s “very appealing”? What’s “quirky”? Are these actual qualities that I have? Or does she imagine she sees them in me? Or are they qualities I exhibit around her but not around other people?

I picked up the phone a few times, thinking I’d call her and ask those questions. But then I thought she’d think that was quirky so I didn’t.

Then, I thought hard about if I should do something, fix things. I wondered if it was too late. “Very appealing” sounds like a good thing. That doesn’t need changing, does it? Or is that phrase damning with faint praise? All along, I’ve been thinking “quirky” is a problem. But maybe it isn’t. Maybe she really likes quirky.

In the end I got a headache and gave up.

Nothing I can do about it. Maybe I’ll just change shoes and go golfing. Stride out onto the course.