Listening to Goddess-God-the Divine
6.2 Methods of Listening to the Divine
Once students name their ideal for the Divine, I introduce methods to connect with and listen to the Divine. In the following sections, I cover three methods of listening to the Divine. First, I explore reflecting on consolations and desolations. Second, I facilitate learning and practicing passage meditation. And third, I explore praying in color. In the Listening to the SONG of Life course, I cover several more methods of connecting with and listening to the Divine.[1]
I also introduce students to spiritual writer Kay Lindahl’s forty “listening to the Sacred” (the Divine) practices.[2] In a second book, Lindahl covers all four contexts in listening to the SONG of life.[3] Listening to self is discussed as reflective listening, “. . . listening inward, listening to our self–our True Self . . .”[4] There are several examples of listening to others, including interpersonal dialogue and group circles. For listening to nature, Lindahl suggests, “. . . breathing in the scent of a flower, the air of the ocean, the richness of earth . . . go for a walk . . . notice everything . . .”[5] One practice of listening to the Divine is presented as a form of contemplative listening called centering prayer. For Lindahl, listening is a choice, a gift we give and receive, an art (more than a technique), and a sense of something spiritual, holy, and sacred.
Listening to the Divine Through Consolation and Desolation
Discerning a Vocation
I struggled to discern the voice of the Divine in my early twenties, feeling the pull toward both marriage and priesthood. You could not embrace both vocations simultaneously in the spiritual tradition I grew up in. I sought counsel with the parish priest, who suggested a thirty-day discernment process known as an Ignatian retreat. I did not have the time or funds for such an endeavor, so he asked if I would consider a six-month version of the retreat where we meet once a week for spiritual direction. The price was right—free—and I was willing to invest extended time in prayer and reflection every day for six months, along with weekly one-hour meetings to discern a vocation. At the end of six months, we discerned the Divine was calling me to the vocation of marriage, and two years later, he presided at our wedding.
Spiritual Direction and Companionship
Spiritual direction or spiritual companionship is a process by which one individual journeys with another to help them listen to the voice of the Divine.[6] In the spiritual direction-companionship relationship, both parties listen through prayer and dialogue to interpret Divine signs in the individual’s life for some particular purpose. For instance, the individual seeking guidance may need assistance discerning the appropriate course of action for a particular situation, or (as in my case) they may need assistance discerning a general vocation.
Saint Ignatius of Loyola and the Spiritual Exercises: Consolations and Desolations
Saint Ignatius of Loyola originally developed what is now known as the “spiritual exercises” of St. Ignatius. These spiritual exercises have been taught by the Jesuit religious order in the Catholic Church for hundreds of years. I used Fleming’s, The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, for my six-month discernment process.[7] Part of the Ignatian discernment process is learning to listen to the movement of the Divine Spirit, especially during moments of consolation and desolation. Consolations are moments of sensing the positive (behavior, emotions, situations) in one’s life, whereas desolations are moments of sensing the seemingly negative aspects of one’s life.[8] Moments of consolation and desolation may be associated with nearly anything in life, such as specific events, relationships, feelings, thoughts, dreams, or intuitions. To introduce students to listening to the Divine through moments of consolation and desolation,[9] I recount a story about Saint Ignatius.
Ignatius of Loyola is a saint of Catholic tradition who lived during the Middle Ages. He was a soldier when his leg was permanently injured by a cannonball in battle. During his long convalescence, Ignatius read a book on the lives of the saints. Inspired by their lives, he gave up the life of a soldier and dedicated his life to God. After many years of soul searching and traveling, a vision for his life became apparent. Ignatius eventually founded a religious order called the Society of Jesus (or Jesuits) with a small company of friends. He would write ideas from humble beginnings that were later collected into The Spiritual Exercises.
One cornerstone of the spiritual exercises is cultivating the capacity to listen to the Divine or, in Ignatius’ language, the ability to discern the movement of the Spirit. For students in class this means listening to the Divine through moments of consolation and desolation. I draw on this tradition to invite students to listen to the Divine in their life, to sense how the experiences in everyday life might be sources of consolation (e.g., blessings, thanksgivings, gratitudes) and desolation (e.g., difficulties, hardships, disappointments, sufferings).
As the listening class meets once a week in the evening, I invite students to review their day, considering the morning, afternoon, and evening periods. I ask them to identify at least one thing they are grateful for (a consolation) and at least one thing they wish they could have done differently or improved upon (a desolation) for each of the three time periods.
After reviewing their day for five minutes, I asked everyone to meet in small groups, share one consolation and one desolation, and then discuss how they felt about the process. After another fifteen minutes, each group shared one learning with the class.
Most groups talk about their consolations, especially things they are grateful for. Some students grew up with the practice of “counting their blessings” before bedtime and have continued this practice by recounting what they are grateful for at the end of the day. I affirm their insight and point to substantial evidence supporting the mental and physiological benefits of daily recounting gratitudes.[10] In brief, by recounting situations and feelings that we are thankful for, we develop a positive mindset (cognitive frame of reference). We begin to observe and experience more gratitude each day through this gratitude lens.
One of the student groups asks a hard question, “What do you do when you have discerned an upsetting desolation? How is that part of the Divine?” Sometimes, even upsetting desolations that have a negative emotional charge can be framed as growth opportunities, and growth can be challenging and painful. We can also look at desolations through psychologist Carl Jung’s idea of making friends with our shadow.[11]
When advising students to integrate their shadow (based on their desolations) into their personality, some caution must be communicated. I’m not a trained therapist, so the advice I provide for shadow work mainly references credible sources for working with the shadow side of their personality.[12] For students experiencing particularly troubling thoughts, images, or sensations as a result of listening to the Divine speak through their shadow (e.g., traumatic life events, terrifying emotions, or existential crisis), I suggest that they follow up with campus counseling services, or a religious-spiritual elder in their faith tradition.
The Practice of Listening to the Divine through Consolations and Desolations
There are several ways to ritualize listening to the Divine by discerning consolations and desolations.
For instance, at the end of the day before sleep, one might reflect on and name one consolation and one desolation for each of the three main periods of the day (morning, afternoon, and evening), as suggested in the previous student activity. Alternatively, one could divide the day into three-hour increments (e.g., six to nine in the morning, nine to twelve, twelve to three in the afternoon, and so forth). Or, if a more intensive discernment experience is desired, one could perform an hour-by-hour review of the day in the evening before retiring.
In addition to ritualizing the practice of listening for the movement of the Divine in one’s life, one can record the specific behaviors that elicit feelings of consolation and desolation in a journal. To process these journal writings, I recommend reviewing the journal entries at the end of each week. During this review time, one can focus on a particular consolation or desolation, exploring it with further meditation and journaling.[13]
For Reflection
- What method do you use to listen and discern the positive and the negative, the true and the false, the consolations and the desolations in your life?
- How does your image and naming of the Divine influence your ability to clearly observe consolations and desolations?
- Do you regularly “count your blessings-gratitudes-consolations”? If not, what small action could you take to begin exploring such a practice in your life?
- What current desolation represents a shadow in your life, and how might you begin the process of integrating this shadow into your personality in a healthy way?
- Other methods for connecting with and listening to the Divine that I cover in class are Keating's centering prayer, Gass and Brehony's chanting, and Roth's dancing the five rhythms. Thomas Keating, Intimacy with God: An Introduction to Centering Prayer (New York: Crossroad, 2009); Robert Gass and Kathleen A. Brehony, Chanting: Discovering Spirit in Sound (New York: Broadway Books, 1999); and, Gabrielle Roth, Sweat Your Prayers: The Five Rhythms of the Soul--Movement as Spiritual Practice (New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Perigee, 1998). ↵
- Kay Lindahl, The Sacred Art of Listening: Forty Reflections for Cultivating a Spiritual Practice (Woodstock: SkyLight Paths, 2001). ↵
- Kay Lindahl, Practicing the Sacred Art of Listening: A Guide to Enrich Your Relationships and Kindle Your Spiritual Life (Woodstock: SkyLight Paths, 2003). ↵
- Ibid., 29. ↵
- Ibid., 102. ↵
- E. James Baesler, "The Role of Prayer in Spiritual Direction," Presence: An International Journal of Spiritual Direction 11, no. 1 (2005): 40-45. For spiritual direction and companionship resources, see Spiritual Direction International, Spiritual Direction and Companionship (website) 2023, https://www.sdicompanions.org/. ↵
- David Fleming, The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius: A Literal Translation and a Contemporary Reading (St. Louis: Institute of Jesuit Sources, 1978). Since then, the best reference I've found on Ignatian spirituality is James Martin, The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything: A Spirituality for Real Life (San Francisco: HarperOne, 2012). ↵
- Labeling consolations as positive and desolations as negative can be misleading. As one develops the ability to listen and discern the voice of the Divine, with the aid of a spiritual director, one may discover that what was a desolation morphs into a consolation and vice versa. For instance, an apparent desolation of a short-term illness may become a consolation by having more time to contemplate the meaning of life. In contrast, an apparent consolation, winning the lottery, may, in time, become a desolation (more stressful than anticipated). ↵
- For specific instructions on listening for consolations and desolations of the Divine, see Dennis Linn, Sheila Fabricant Linn, and Matthew Linn, Sleeping With Bread: Holding What Gives Life (Mahwah: Paulist Press, 1995). ↵
- Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, The Psychology of Gratitude (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2004). ↵
- For Carl Jung's original writing on the shadow, see Carl Jung, Aion: Researches into the Phenomenology of the Self, trans. Gerhard Adler and R. F. C. Hull (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1959). I use Johnson's Inner Work to explain Jung’s concept of shadow and how to make friends with the shadow. The shadow is often a repressed and negatively perceived part of ourselves that needs to be integrated into our personality. Robert Johnson, Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth (New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1986). Another resource for shadow work is Ken Wilber, Terry Patten, Adam Leonard, A., and Marco Morelli, Integral Life Practice: A 21st-century Blueprint for Physical Health, Emotional Balance, Mental Clarity, and Spiritual Awakening (Boston: Integral Books, 2008). ↵
- Jung, Aion; Johnnson, Inner Work; and Wilber et al., Integral Life Practice. ↵
- For journaling, I recommend two resources for students. James Pennebaker, Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions (Guilford Press, 1990), and Louise De Salvo, Writing as a Way of Healing: How Telling our Stories Transforms our Lives (Boston: Beacon Press, 1999). See also the resources on journaling in Chapter 3 Listening to Self ↵