COUNSELING QUICK GUIDE
| TRY TO | EXAMPLE |
| Ask open-ended questions | “What questions do you have for me?” |
| Clarify the facts | “Knowing how far along the pregnancy is will let you know how much time you have to decide.” |
| Reflect/Normalize | “Many people feel …” “I hear that is difficult for you.” “It is okay to cry here.” |
| Seek to understand | “Can you tell me more about that?” |
| Validate; don’t fix | “That sounds really challenging. I’m sorry you’re feeling…” |
| Frame the situation | “It sounds like you are being thoughtful and making the best possible decision for yourself.” “Deciding what’s best for you can be hard – but that doesn’t make it wrong.” |
| Reassure | “I trust and respect your feelings. You are the best person to make decisions for you and your family.” |
| Check in about support people | “It may be helpful to tell someone you trust and who will support your decision, no matter what it is. Do you have someone like that to talk to?” If not, “What might happen if your partner/family/friend found out about the pregnancy or abortion?” |
| Communicate acceptance with tone and body language | Be mindful of your tone, facial expression, and body language. Use eye contact (if culturally appropriate). Sit at their level. |
| Use silence | Give them time to finish their sentences and thoughts. |
| Give the patient control; keep them informed about next steps | “Which would you prefer?” “You are in control. Let me know when you’re ready to proceed.” |
| Address common abortion fears such as pain and impact on health | “Tell me more about your fears or worries.” Review options for pain control and relaxation. Review safety and lack of impact on fertility, mental and overall health. |
| Use clear language, interpreters, and appropriate literacy level | Use plain language and appropriate visual or other aids for decision making. Use interpretation services as needed (including sign language). Use culturally appropriate language at their literacy level. |
| Elicit questions | “Do you have any questions about what I just explained?” |
| Use teach back to check for understanding | Check understanding at key stages, especially for people with language barriers and/or intellectual/developmental disabilities.“Can you repeat what I said in your own words?” “Would you like me to explain that again?” |
| WORDS MATTER | AVOID | USE INSTEAD |
| Over-identification | I know exactly how you feel | Many people feel that way |
| Medical or stigmatizing jargon | Elective abortion It’s your choice Are you planning to have a medical abortion or surgery? |
Abortion (or mirror the patient’s terminology) I support whatever decision you make about this pregnancy. Are you planning to have a medication abortion (with pills) or in-clinic abortion? |
| Loaded statements | Your family supports your decision, right? | Who might support you through this without judgment? |