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Anna Claire White
“Do not learn how to react. Learn how to respond.”—Buddha
During my interview for my current position as a public high school Bridge Coordinator, or Special Education Coordinator, I was asked ten questions and showed a two-minute timer for each answer.
A pressure cooker situation! However, this is more of a sear and slow cook narrative.
The Sear
The question that stood out was, “How do you handle angry parents?” Within my two-minute allowance of time, I flashbacked to all of the parents I have come across during my career. I thought of the hundreds of Individual Education Plan (IEP) meetings involving parents that acted angry, upset, and full of uncertainty.
The answer came to me quickly, “These parents of children with special needs are not angry, they are desperate to find answers in how to help their child.” A parent has a child and at that moment the hopes and dreams of how wonderful their child’s life will be flashes before their eyes. As time goes by, they now start to understand their child is different and may not have the dream life they originally imagined.
Special education teachers and administrators, are here to help those ‘angry’ parents and deliver them a plan that can make their educational experience meaningful and beneficial to their individual needs. We do not give them false hope, but rather to offer them a sense of empowerment to the development of their child.
The Slow Cook
With thirty seconds left, I explained the sear to slow cook transition: Showing parents a sense of serenity, understanding, and empathy allows them to feel a sense of calmness, permitting the parents to now listen while also being heard.
An IEP meeting is a place where a parent expects their child to receive support, and rightfully so. It can be very tense. I am here to listen and support, essentially the slow cooking. When a parent becomes upset, my colleagues call me “Grace-Under-Fire.”
Leading the meeting in this manner sets the tone. As a leader, setting the tone is indicative of how any meeting will progress. Sometimes that is after a quick sear from the parent’s emotions and turning the dial to low and slow.
A Recipe for Your InstaPot
