8 Write Clearly and Concisely

Introduction:

This module addresses how to write clearly and concisely by teaching the principles of clarity and conciseness, identifying how to improve given examples by making them clearer and more concise, and then producing a short, written text to illustrate the learned skills.

Objective One

Define and explain principles of clarity and conciseness.

Topic 1: The 10 Principles of Clarity in Writing (1h)

One of the key elements of effective communications is clarity. Your persuasiveness, accuracy, or interesting subject matter cannot achieve your objectives if the audience is struggling to understand your message. Below are 10 principles for creating understandable writing:

1. Use Short Active Verbs

Simple words get your point across more quickly than complex words, and using the active voice makes it obvious who did what to whom (or what). Additionally, simple words and the active voice make your text direct and concise, which means it will be easily understood.

Example: “It runs like a well-oiled machine” (simple verb, active voice) works better than “it operates like a well-oiled machine” (more complex verb) or it is run like a well-oiled machine (passive voice).

2. Be Concise

Unnecessary words dilute the meaning of your message, so read through your drafts in order to look for sentences or words that are redundant (needlessly repetitive) or otherwise not required.

Examples:

In the phrase “connect together”, the word together is redundant.

The expression “at this point in time” can be replaced with the word now.

Another example are these two sentences: “Henry is not like William. Henry takes more risks.” They can be combined into one: Henry takes more risks than William.

Note: Being concise does not mean that all your sentences must be brief. A sentence without unnecessary words can still be relatively lengthy, and an interesting text typically has a variety of sentence lengths. As a rule, aim for an average sentence length of 12-25 words.

3. Be Specific

The more specific you are, the more likely people are to understand you. Example: Senior vice president says more than top executive.

4. Use Familiar Words

Acronyms and jargon are communication shortcuts. But they aren’t effective unless the majority of readers understand your references, so only use them if you think at least 95 percent of your audience will understand them.

5. Provide Context

When you know a subject well, it’s easy to forget that most of your readers don’t have access to the same information. Keep in mind that every message needs a context in order to be clearly communicated.

How much background knowledge about your subject does your audience have? Given the purpose of your message, what information should you give them?

If your message contains photos or illustrations, are they clearly related to your subject via placement and captions?

6. Watch for Misplaced Phrases

The placement of phrases can obscure or clarify the meaning of your sentence.

Example: “Having been a member of the association for decades, I believe that Mr. Smith deserves to be named emeritus.”

In the sentence above, does the phrase “having been a member of the association for decades” refer to the writer or to Mr. Smith?

By comparison, this revised sentence is much clearer: I believe that Mr. Smith, having been a member of the association for decades, deserves to be named emeritus.

7. Organize Your Text

Make sure that your copy is organized in a way that allows your audience to progress smoothly from point A to point B, and on to point C.

According to Crawford Killian, author of “Writing for the Web”, you can make the order chronological or narrative (as in a story progression), logical or categorical (arranging points into specific groupings). The Purdue Online Writing Lab suggests first giving readers information they already know so that they can link it to new information as they progress through your text (if you use this tactic, you’ll have to be careful that your old information does not weigh down the pace and clarity of your copy by becoming “throat clearing”). Other options include spatial (using geographical location or physical size), cause and effect, problem and solution, compare and contrast, order of importance or step-by-step instructions.

Use outlines to help you decide the best way to order your material.

8. Make Sure Your Points Always Support Your Position

Everything you include in your piece (or website) should reinforce your main message. These can include testimonials, study results, guarantees, comparisons, observations or just details about your product or service.

9. Pay Attention to Commas

Missing or superfluous commas can change the meaning of a sentence. Example: “Originally selected students…” has a different meaning than “Originally, selected students…”

10. Tell Readers What to Do

Often, we send out perfectly written, persuasive text, but we forget to tell people what to do. Most people are busy and distracted; they might not be sure what’s expected of them unless you tell them. If you want them to write, call, remember your products or expect your call, then say so.

[Source: https://kc-communications.com/ten-principles-clear-writing/ ]

Topic 2: Increasing clarity (1h)

[Source: https://support.google.com/docs/thread/33860770/how-do-i-add-a-footnote-to-just-one-page-not-the-whole-document?hl=en]

 

Communication Worksheet 1 – Writing Clearly and Concisely

Exercise 1

Replace the following with a single word.

A large number of_______________________

Despite the fact that_______________________

Personal opinion_______________________

Each and every_______________________

Has the opportunity to_______________________

End result_______________________

At this point in time_______________________

Compare and contrast_______________________

At an early time_______________________

In a case in which_______________________

Exercise 2

Circle the unnecessary words in the following sentences.

1. The creditor must first establish that the debtor is undoubtedly bankrupt.
2. Our main role is to raise money by way of donations in order to fund the works of these charities.
3. Professor Smith was picked by each and every person on the committee.
4. As a matter of fact, Pleasantville has a strong position in the forestry industry.
5. The student needs to obtain high marks in science in order to study medicine.
6. The manager will, insofar as is possible, make sure that the information is true and accurate.
7. We will send out brochures to the general public.
8. You must be willing to challenge yourself in order to get the most out of your education at university. 

Exercise 3

Make the following sentences more concise without removing any information.

1. We are working hard so the poor are given the basic essentials to lift themselves out of poverty.
2. Students should make contact with us for help with their future plans prior to the start of semester.
3. It is apparent that the tragedy could have been avoided if the company had talked to workers regarding hazards which existed in the workplace.
4. The total population of the island is 12,046 with the future possibility of 5% growth by 2012.
5. A commerce graduate can leverage knowledge they have acquired in their coursework and apply it to the real world.

Exercise 4

Make the following paragraphs more concise without removing any information.

1. As of 4 August, students will be selected using processes which have been created in accordance with legal requirements. These processes will be used along with our diversity strategy and all of its relevant policies about student selection.
2. The Passport Office is replacing free of charge until the dates specified any current passport lost, damaged or destroyed as a result of the recent floods. Eligible applicants should contact the Passport Information Service (PIS) on 998 9988 for further information.
3. If an agency or organisation breaches the privacy principles, our office may investigate the matter. Individuals can also make a privacy complaint to us about an agency or organisation if they think their information has been mishandled.
4. Aid Agency works to bring immediate assistance to people whose lives have been devastated by natural disasters and conflict. Through our work we provide emergency relief in the initial stages of the disaster, and we also provide continued support to affected communities as they rebuild and rehabilitate towards a sustainable future.

Communication Worksheet 1 – Writing Clearly and Concisely (Answer sheet)

Please note, these are example answers, however there can be a wide range of possible “correct” answers.

Exercise 1

The phrases can be replaced with a single word as follows:

• Many
• Although
• Opinion
• Each, every, all
• Can, could
• Result
• Now
• Compare
• Early
• When, where

Exercise 2

The unnecessary words were in the following phrases.

• first, undoubtedly
• by way of donations in order to, the works of
• and every
• as a matter of fact
• to obtain, in order
• insofar as possible, true and
• out, general
• in order, your education at

The rewritten sentences would be:

1. The creditor must show that the debtor is bankrupt.
2. Our main role is to raise money to fund these charities.
3. Professor Smith was chosen by each person on the committee.
4. Pleasantville has a strong position in the forestry industry.
5. The student needs high marks in science to study medicine.
6. The manager will make sure the information is accurate.
7. We will send brochures to the public.
8. You must be willing to challenge yourself to get the most out of university.

 

Communication Worksheet 1 – Writing Clearly and Concisely (Answer sheet)

Exercise 3

The sentences can be rewritten as follows:

1. We are working hard to give the poor the basics to lift themselves out of poverty.
2. Before semester starts, students should contact us for help with their plans.
3. It appears the tragedy could have been avoided if the company had talked to workers about workplace dangers.
4. The population of the island is 12,046 with the possibility of 5% growth by 2012.
5. A commerce graduate can apply knowledge from their course to their work.

Exercise 4

1. The paragraphs can be rewritten as follows:
2. From 4 August, we will select students using processes that meet legal requirements, our diversity strategy and policies on student selection.
3. We are offering free replacements for current passports lost or damaged in the recent floods. You must contact us on 998 9988 by June 10.
4. We can investigate breaches of privacy principles by agencies and organisations, and privacy complaints made by individuals.
5. We help people affected by natural disasters and conflict. We provide emergency relief when disaster occurs and support communities as they rebuild.

Objective Two

Plan, write, revise, and edit short documents and messages clearly and concisely

Topic 1: Writing Concise Emails (1 hour)

As email is the prevalent form of communication for many different workers, and even though the bulk of your work will be out in the field you will still need to be able to send important emails that are understood by your receiver.

How many times have you received a rambling and incoherent email? How many times have you hit “Delete” because you have no idea what the person wants and no time to sort through the long message?

The truth is that people don’t have time for long emails, and they don’t have time to try to find out exactly what you want. You have to tell them, in as short an email as possible.

Misunderstandings are also a problem, because of the nature of email. People are often ambiguous, and their messages are interpreted differently than they intended, leading to a waste of time and energy.

Communicate clearly and concisely with the following rules:

1. Use the minimum number of sentences. How many sentences are needed to communicate what you’re trying to communicate? Or how few sentences can you get away with? Cut it to that number, and no more. That ensures that you’re not wasting the time of the recipient, and that your email actually gets read.

2. State what you want right away. Don’t write a long introduction, telling your life story, or any story for that matter. People aren’t interested. They just want to know what you want. State that, in the first sentence. Skip the niceties. Don’t make the recipient wade through 10 paragraphs to find what action is needed for the email.

3. Write about only one thing. There have been numerous times when I read an email, saw the action needed, and went and did it … only to find out that three other things were also needed to respond to the email. I’ve also responded to the first part of an email and not to others, just because I didn’t have enough time.

Instead, stick to one subject, with one request. Once that’s done, you can send a second one, but don’t overwhelm the recipient if at all possible.

4. Leave out the humor and emotions. These don’t come across well in an email. There’s just no way to express tone, inflection, etc. … and there’s no way to know if the recipient understands that you’re joking. If you’re communicating in person, you can see that the person didn’t understand the humor, and say, “I was only joking!” But you won’t have that opportunity in an email.

5. Use “If … then” statements. As email is a back-and-forth method of communicating, and it can take a day or more for a response (in some cases), you want to limit the number of times a message has to go back and forth. To do that, use “if … then” statements, anticipating the possible responses to your question.

For example, if you want to know if a person has received a response to an inquiry, instead of asking “Have you received a response?” then waiting for a reply, try doing it all in one email:

“Have you received a response from Mr. X yet? If so, please finish the report by Tuesday and email it to me. If not, can you follow up today and let me know the response?”

By anticipating the possible responses, and giving a desired action for each possible response, you’re cutting a lot of wasted back-and-forth time.

6. Review for ambiguity, clarity. Once you’ve written an email, take a few seconds to read over it before pressing the Send button. Read it as if you were an outsider — how clear is it? Are there any ambiguous statements that could be interpreted the wrong way? If so, clarify. Use the 10 principles of clear writing that we discussed in a previous lesson.

7. Revise for conciseness. As you review, also see if there is a way you can shorten the email, remove words or sentences or even paragraphs. Leave nothing but the essential message you’re trying to communicate.

[Source: https://gigaom.com/2007/10/05/7-rules-for-communicating-clearly-and-concisely-in-email/]

Topic 2: Writing a Formal Email (1h)

[Source: https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=sites&srcid=ZGVmYXVsdGRvbWFpbnxtaXp6b3VjcmV3fGd4OjRmMjMxMzJjNWUwMjYwNzQ ]

Communication Worksheet 2: Writing a Formal Email Assignment

Assignment: Imagine that you’ve been selected to start a powerline technician apprenticeship. You’ve been instructed to email your supervising journeyman to request more information about your start date and any expectations for your first day. Your goal is to keep the format and the contents of the email in a formal tone.

/ 2 Subject Line: This tells your reader what your email is about. Ensure that your subject is informational to the receiver.

 / 3 Addressing your Audience: Even though this is an email, an address (like a letter) should start your email. Since you’ll be talking to this person for the first time, you’ll also want to introduce yourself appropriately.

/ 10 Body of email: This is the “nuts and bolts” of what you want to say. Your score will start at 15 and reduce by 0.5 for each mistake.

Format

• An email should be short, concise, appropriate, and to the point. Don’t ramble – keep this writing assignment short. Refer to the 10 principles of clarity.
• Standard English – No acronyms, no slang words.
• Spell check – this is the biggest complaint in the business world. Make sure you make a good impression!

Content

• No sarcasm! Reading between the lines can get you into trouble, so just keep it clean and clear.
• Friendly and interesting.

/ 5 Closing – type a closing statement and your name (just like a letter).

/ 20

Topic 3: Text Messages (1h)

A traditional text message is 160 characters. For context, this is exactly how much content you can fit within that limit:

“The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox is”

As you can see it’s not a lot of space, but it’s certainly enough if your message is clear, concise, and action-oriented. Instead of viewing the number of characters as a limit, think of it as a test for your text. If the message you’re looking to send can’t be condensed down, maybe it’s not appropriate for text.

How to Write a Professional Text Message

The anatomy of a text message is fairly straightforward. Aside from the technicalities, like the character limits, the biggest thing to consider when writing an text is tone. Even when you’re writing something professional your tone should be conversational. Texting is intimate and you don’t want to sound like a robot when you’re communicating with clients or staff. Cut down on flowery language and keep it simple. To demonstrate:

Bad example
Dear Lou, thank you for connecting with me at the networking event earlier today. It was so nice to meet you. When we met we talked about freelance work and your need for a writer. I wanted to let you know I’d be happy to send you some samples for review. If you’re interested let me know. Thanks! Jon Jenner, A&M Copywriting, jjenner@amwriting.com, 978-562-9168.

Good example

Hey Lou, it’s Jon! Loved connecting with you. If you’re still looking for a freelancer let me know and we can talk next steps. Enjoy Vegas! Cheers, Jon.

Rules for Writing Professional Text Messages

Writing your message is personal to you and your needs. There’s no magic formula to speak of, only guidelines. Think of them like bumpers on a bowling alley.

Keep it short: The best part of texting is how quick and easy it is to communicate. Messages should be able to be read in a matter of seconds and responded to within a few minutes. A good rule of thumb is 1-2 sentences.

Get consent: Not only is it proper texting etiquette, but it’s illegal to mass text people without their consent. In instances outside of one-on-one texting, you must secure express written consent from someone before sending a message.

Be Mindful of Frequency: Professional texting isn’t just about what you do, it’s also about what you don’t do. Sending multiple messages that could easily be sent in one might be something you do to your friends, but not your boss. Additionally, you don’t want to text too frequently or outside of business hours.

Make it Easy to Reply: Keeping your texts short also means you need to keep them clear. If you’re asking your recipient a question, make it easy for them to provide a simple yes or no answers or ask something that doesn’t require a detailed explanation. For example, a good text would ask someone if they’re familiar with computer coding. A bad text would be asking them to explain HTML to you.

Keep Your Sign Off Short: Your email signature might have your name, job title, credentials, schooling, and other contact information on it. Your text sign off will not. In fact, your text sign off should just be your name and, if necessary, your place of business. However, best practice dictates that you’re usually texting someone who you have previously conversed with or developed a rapport. So all they would really need is your name.

Topic 4: Write short text messages of appreciation, apology or explanation (1h)

[Source: https://www.asean.org ]

Introduction

Everybody makes mistakes sometimes and everybody does a good job sometimes. It is important, in the workplace, to admit when we have made a mistake and apologise for it. It is also important to recognise and acknowledge when someone has done something to help you. A short message or email apologising for a mistake or thanking someone for their help, makes a work environment comfortable and pleasant.

Message of thanks

In any job you will often need help whether to lift something because it is too heavy, or because it is so busy that you need extra staff. When you request people to help you, it is important to acknowledge their assistance. Writing a short message of thanks is an effective way to show you appreciate the help. Below are some useful expressions that you can use to say thanks:

• Thanks so much for _____
• Thanks a lot for _____
• Thanks, I really appreciate _____
• Thank you, I couldn’t have _____ without your help.

It is important to be specific about why you are thanking someone when you write a message of appreciation. Always write why you are thanking the person. For example: ‘Thanks for helping with the function last night. We couldn’t have done it without you.

Apologising

Thanking someone for their help is an important part of work and apologising for making a mistake is just as important. You should always admit when you have made a mistake and apologise to the person or people affected by the mistake. Like a message of thanks, a short apology message should also explain what you are apologising for. There are many situations in the workplace where you need to apologise.

Some common mistakes include:

• Forgetting to do something
• Doing something the wrong way
• Not knowing how to do something
• Being late
• Getting angry
• Not communicating effectively.

When writing a short message of apology, it is important to say ‘sorry’ and what you are sorry for.

For example:

• I’m sorry for being late yesterday.
• I apologise for forgetting to ……
• I’m sorry I was angry with you.
• I’m sorry for not informing you. I should have sent you an email.

Explaining a temporary absence

Often there will be times at work you may have to leave your position to do something. You might have to help a guest or get something from a storeroom, for example. You should always leave a short message explaining where you have gone so that your colleagues or supervisors know where you are. Leaving a message to explain a temporary absence is polite, professional and is a good example of effective communication.

Be back in 5 mins!

There will be times when you are working that you will have to leave your position to attend to something else. This is quite common but it is important that you inform people where you have gone and when you will return. Sending a message is an effective way to let your colleagues know where you are.

Communication Worksheet 3: Practicing Writing Text Messages

For each of the following scenarios, craft an appropriate text message. You will be graded on clarity using the following criteria:

• Use short active verbs ( /1)
• Be concise ( /3)
• Be specific ( /1)
• Use familiar words ( /1)
• Provide context ( /1)
• Watch for misplaced phrases ( /1)
• Organize your text ( /2)/10

• You are temporarily leaving the worksite because of a family emergency.
  ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
• A co-worker stayed late after their shift to help you.
  ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
• You will have to miss your shift, because you are sick.
  ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
• You were late to work this morning.
  ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
• You aren’t sure where you left your toolbox.
  ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
• You heard your supervisor gave you a great recommendation.
  ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
• You lost your temper and yelled at a co-worker yesterday.
  ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
• You noticed a hazard at the worksite.
  ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________