Once students name their ideal for the Divine, I introduce methods to connect with and listen to the Divine. In the following sections, I cover three methods of listening to the Divine. First, I explore reflecting on consolations and desolations. Second, I facilitate learning and practicing passage meditation. And third, I explore praying in color. In the Listening to the SONG of Life course, I cover several more methods of connecting with and listening to the Divine.^[1]

I also introduce students to spiritual writer Kay Lindahl’s forty “listening to the Sacred” (the Divine) practices.^[2] In a second book, Lindahl covers all four contexts in listening to the SONG of life.^[3] Listening to self is discussed as reflective listening, “. . . listening inward, listening to our self–our True Self . . .”^[4] There are several examples of listening to others, including interpersonal dialogue and group circles. For listening to nature, Lindahl suggests, “. . . breathing in the scent of a flower, the air of the ocean, the richness of earth . . . go for a walk . . . notice everything . . .”^[5] One practice of listening to the Divine is presented as a form of contemplative listening called centering prayer. For Lindahl, listening is a choice, a gift we give and receive, an art (more than a technique), and a sense of something spiritual, holy, and sacred.

Listening to the Divine Through Consolation and Desolation

Discerning a Vocation

I struggled to discern the voice of the Divine in my early twenties, feeling the pull toward both marriage and priesthood. You could not embrace both vocations simultaneously in the spiritual tradition I grew up in. I sought counsel with the parish priest, who suggested a thirty-day discernment process known as an Ignatian retreat. I did not have the time or funds for such an endeavor, so he asked if I would consider a six-month version of the retreat where we meet once a week for spiritual direction. The price was right—free—and I was willing to invest extended time in prayer and reflection every day for six months, along with weekly one-hour meetings to discern a vocation. At the end of six months, we discerned the Divine was calling me to the vocation of marriage, and two years later, he presided at our wedding.

Spiritual Direction and Companionship

Spiritual direction or spiritual companionship is a process by which one individual journeys with another to help them listen to the voice of the Divine.^[6] In the spiritual direction-companionship relationship, both parties listen through prayer and dialogue to interpret Divine signs in the individual’s life for some particular purpose. For instance, the individual seeking guidance may need assistance discerning the appropriate course of action for a particular situation, or (as in my case) they may need assistance discerning a general vocation.

Saint Ignatius of Loyola and the Spiritual Exercises: Consolations and Desolations

Saint Ignatius of Loyola originally developed what is now known as the “spiritual exercises” of St. Ignatius. These spiritual exercises have been taught by the Jesuit religious order in the Catholic Church for hundreds of years. I used Fleming’s, The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, for my six-month discernment process.^[7] Part of the Ignatian discernment process is learning to listen to the movement of the Divine Spirit, especially during moments of consolation and desolation. Consolations are moments of sensing the positive (behavior, emotions, situations) in one’s life, whereas desolations are moments of sensing the seemingly negative aspects of one’s life.^[8] Moments of consolation and desolation may be associated with nearly anything in life, such as specific events, relationships, feelings, thoughts, dreams, or intuitions. To introduce students to listening to the Divine through moments of consolation and desolation,^[9] I recount a story about Saint Ignatius.

Ignatius of Loyola is a saint of Catholic tradition who lived during the Middle Ages. He was a soldier when his leg was permanently injured by a cannonball in battle. During his long convalescence, Ignatius read a book on the lives of the saints. Inspired by their lives, he gave up the life of a soldier and dedicated his life to God. After many years of soul searching and traveling, a vision for his life became apparent. Ignatius eventually founded a religious order called the Society of Jesus (or Jesuits) with a small company of friends. He would write ideas from humble beginnings that were later collected into The Spiritual Exercises.

One cornerstone of the spiritual exercises is cultivating the capacity to listen to the Divine or, in Ignatius’ language, the ability to discern the movement of the Spirit. For students in class this means listening to the Divine through moments of consolation and desolation. I draw on this tradition to invite students to listen to the Divine in their life, to sense how the experiences in everyday life might be sources of consolation (e.g., blessings, thanksgivings, gratitudes) and desolation (e.g., difficulties, hardships, disappointments, sufferings).

As the listening class meets once a week in the evening, I invite students to review their day, considering the morning, afternoon, and evening periods. I ask them to identify at least one thing they are grateful for (a consolation) and at least one thing they wish they could have done differently or improved upon (a desolation) for each of the three time periods.

After reviewing their day for five minutes, I asked everyone to meet in small groups, share one consolation and one desolation, and then discuss how they felt about the process. After another fifteen minutes, each group shared one learning with the class.

Most groups talk about their consolations, especially things they are grateful for. Some students grew up with the practice of “counting their blessings” before bedtime and have continued this practice by recounting what they are grateful for at the end of the day. I affirm their insight and point to substantial evidence supporting the mental and physiological benefits of daily recounting gratitudes.^[10] In brief, by recounting situations and feelings that we are thankful for, we develop a positive mindset (cognitive frame of reference). We begin to observe and experience more gratitude each day through this gratitude lens.

One of the student groups asks a hard question, “What do you do when you have discerned an upsetting desolation? How is that part of the Divine?” Sometimes, even upsetting desolations that have a negative emotional charge can be framed as growth opportunities, and growth can be challenging and painful. We can also look at desolations through psychologist Carl Jung’s idea of making friends with our shadow.^[11]

When advising students to integrate their shadow (based on their desolations) into their personality, some caution must be communicated. I’m not a trained therapist, so the advice I provide for shadow work mainly references credible sources for working with the shadow side of their personality.^[12] For students experiencing particularly troubling thoughts, images, or sensations as a result of listening to the Divine speak through their shadow (e.g., traumatic life events, terrifying emotions, or existential crisis), I suggest that they follow up with campus counseling services, or a religious-spiritual elder in their faith tradition.

For Reflection

• What method do you use to listen and discern the positive and the negative, the true and the false, the consolations and the desolations in your life?
• How does your image and naming of the Divine influence your ability to clearly observe consolations and desolations?
• Do you regularly “count your blessings-gratitudes-consolations”? If not, what small action could you take to begin exploring such a practice in your life?
• What current desolation represents a shadow in your life, and how might you begin the process of integrating this shadow into your personality in a healthy way?