Rule #8: Discuss these things with your loved ones

Growing up, my mother always told me it was impolite to discuss finances in public. As an inquisitive child, I would ask questions to guests, like “how much money do you have?” or “does your nice car mean you’re rich?” I guess since a young age, I have always been on the lookout for new clients. In most situations, I think my mother is right. The questions I felt tempted to ask were never appropriate. At the same time, however, I feel there is this incredibly strong cultural taboo around money, just as there is with race, sex and so many other underlying elements of the human experience. I also believe that just like with these other taboos, the public portrayal of finance often revolves around sin, shame, and distraction. Prudent financial information is not popularly available, and the reasons for this are infinitely complex. To some extent, I do think that the taboo around finance serves to maintain the underlying system, which prioritizes profit over people, and concentrates wealth amongst the tiniest percentage of the population. While my mother had the right intention in quieting my curiosity, I think she may have been encouraging this taboo without even knowing it. I must reiterate that no one should be talking salaries, net worths or budgets with strangers, acquaintances, or even friends. But family, on the other hand, is a different story.

There are surely folks who would disagree with everything I’ve said above and would say that it fails to address the core problem of capitalism. They may believe that all of this taboo, un-education, and financial misery could simply be solved by destroying our economy and starting anew. To be honest, they are probably right – in theory, it could work. But the problem we run into once we journey down this rabbit hole is that throughout human history, throughout the rise and fall of empires, the use of money has remained prevalent. To imagine that, in unison, humankind will be able to forget this element of value, is pretty unbelievable and logistically impossible. I am in no way a huge capitalism “stan,” but I think it may be the most tested form of economic structure we have. Winston Churchill said something about the government that I believe applies well here.

“Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others.”

Without getting too political, I believe that despite capitalism’s inherent flaws, it simply won’t be going anywhere. The Nordic model of economies is my favorite, in which human rights and basic needs are provided by the government and free markets flow. It is also commonly known that these countries in northwestern Europe are some of the happiest and healthiest in the world.^[1] America is severely lacking in these rankings; our capitalism needs some real work. At this point, you might be asking yourself why I’m riffing about all of this in a section about talking to your family members. Fair enough, let’s get back on track.

So, if talking about finance is taboo, the media portrays it poorly, the government does a slow ineffective job of policymaking, and its education isn’t taught in schools, what are we to do? What options do we have? Well, you have taken the first step here. You have learned about many important pieces that make up the financial puzzle of life. Good for you. But now that you have this information, you need to share it – you need to ignore the advice my mom gives. You need to talk about finances with your family. Your kids won’t be taught about investing in school, you won’t see good financial advice on the news, and humankind sure won’t be able to immediately outlaw capitalism. You do, however, have the chance to start right now. One of the main ethos behind my firm’s work is that family is an asset. You are only pursuing wealth to use as a tool to provide safety and happiness to those you love. This is how I personally view the intrinsic value of money, and how I believe you should as well.

I believe the pursuit and sharing of financial knowledge has the power to be a great equalizing force for America. I would love to see a future where asset ownership is concentrated amongst the middle class, where children are eager to buy stock with their first paycheck, and where underrepresented populations are major collective investors in the world’s most prominent enterprises. We have a long way to go before. Not taking this path, however, inevitably shifts the responsibility for financial security from you and onto other parties, perpetuating the cycle so many feel they are stuck in. There’s an amazing man on Instagram known in the financial community as “the trapper”. The Wall Street Trapper was recently on the Ellen show, and detailed his grand goal of educating every black American on the stock market and cryptocurrency investing. This is the kind of mindset you need to have, no matter who you are or where you are from.

So, be completely open about finances with the people you love the most. Sponsor a culture of open discussion in your household. Ask and answer questions, and get those around you to think critically about asset ownership and investing. If you play your cards right, this will do two things. First, it will set those you love up for future success, with or without you there to guide them. Secondly, and more importantly, it will save them an immense amount of hardship when you inevitably leave this earth. The members of your immediate family should know the face value of your life insurance policy, the way your portfolio is set up, and the proper steps to take in the event that you become too ill to work so that changes can be made when things arise. Keeping this to yourself could foster bitterness in your family, and, more importantly, will add to the hurt of your loved ones when you pass. Imagine having to grieve a lost parent while also learning about portfolios for the first time. I cannot imagine anything worse. I also cannot imagine a worse situation for the portfolio, given the mental state of its new owner. In investing, we make small sacrifices now, in order to have security and return in the future. This is a constant. Discuss these things with your loved ones.