14.2 Editing for Formality and Clarity
Some writers are very methodical and painstaking when they write a first draft. Other writers unleash a lot of words in order to get out all that they feel they need to say. Does either of these composing styles match your style? Or is your composing style somewhere in between? No matter which description best fits you, the first draft of almost every piece of writing, no matter its author, can be made clearer and more concise. In addition, through the editing process, you have to check the document format as the assignment requires, ensuring your writing’s academic formality.
Step 1. (Re)format Your Essay
Spacing: Almost all of the papers that you write in college will require a double-spacing throughout. Check to be sure that your paper is double spaced without any additional spaces after the header, the title, or any body paragraph.
Indentations: Indenting a new paragraph is a rhetorical move that signals to the reader that you are beginning a new idea in a new paragraph. You can hit tab at the beginning of each paragraph to create a half-inch indentation, which is a standard indent.
Document Format: In addition, whatever discipline you major in, you have heard about a citation style that you have to use. Although there are various document formats such as MLA, APA, and Chicago, once you know how to use proper online sources and basic rules, you can easily follow any of the different styles. Make sure in what style your writing must be formatted. See “Citation Styles” to check specific styles and examples.
Step 2. Check Source Integration and Cited Works
When you write an essay, you may have used primary and secondary sources for direct and indirect quotations. Unless you have marked which source comes from what work, you have to go back to these sources to make sure you cite them correctly. You must carefully introduce all source materials that you have quoted, paraphrased, or summarized to let your reader understand how you develop your argument based on other sources. For details, see “Writing with Sources.”
Mentioning citation sources in the body of your writing is not enough. Even if you use only one source in the paper, you must include a separate page that lists the source materials you have used for the paper. This list can be called differently, depending on various document formats such as “Works Cited” in MLA and “Bibliography” in APA. Check if your list is ordered alphabetically by the first letter in the work you are referencing. See “Citation Styles” to check specific styles and examples.
Step 3. Work on Clarity in Sentences
Reduce unclear wording: Sometimes writers use too many (or imprecise) words when fewer, clearer words can appeal more to their audience and better fit their purpose. You can go back to the chapter, “Sentence Style,” which introduces various ways of polishing your sentence for clarity. Also, check “20 Most Common Grammar Errors” to make sure that your essay does not contain any common grammatical errors.
Examples
Here are some common examples of unclear wording to look for in your draft. Eliminating unclear wording helps all readers, because it makes your ideas clear, direct, and straightforward.
- Sentences that begin with There is or There are.
Original: There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.
Revised: The Biology Department sponsors two major experiments.
- Sentences with unnecessary modifiers.
Original: Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favor of the proposed important legislation.
Revised: Two well-known consumer advocates spoke in favor of the proposed legislation.
- Sentences with deadwood phrases that add little to the meaning. Be judicious when you use phrases such as in terms of, with a mind to, on the subject of, as to whether or not, more or less, as far as…is concerned, and similar expressions. You can usually find a more straightforward way to state your point.
Original: As a world leader in the field of green technology, the company plans to focus its efforts in the area of geothermal energy. A report as to whether or not to use geysers as an energy source is in the process of preparation.
Revised: As a world leader in green technology, the company plans to focus on geothermal energy. A report about using geysers as an energy source is in preparation.
- Sentences in the passive voice or with forms of the verb to be. Sentences with passive-voice verbs often create confusion, because the subject of the sentence does not perform an action. Sentences are clearer when the subject of the sentence performs the action and is followed by a strong verb. Use strong active-voice verbs in place of forms of to be, which can lead to wordiness. Avoid passive voice when you can.
Original: It might perhaps be said that using a GPS device is something that is a benefit to drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
Revised: Drivers who have a poor sense of direction may benefit from using a GPS device.
- Sentences with constructions that can be shortened.
Original: The e-book reader, which is a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone. My over-sixty uncle bought an e-book reader, and his wife bought an e-book reader, too.
Revised: The e-book reader, a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone. My over-sixty uncle and his wife both bought e-book readers.
Add specific, appropriate words: Most college essays should be written in formal English suitable for an academic situation. Follow these principles to be sure that your word choice is appropriate. For details, you can check “Word Choice” in this textbook.
- Avoid slang. Find alternatives to awesome, bummer, and bougie.
- Avoid contractions.
- Avoid clichés. Clichés are overused expressions such as opposites attract, better late than never, better safe than sorry, time heals all wounds.
- Be careful when you use words that sound alike but have different meanings. Some examples are allusion/illusion, complement/compliment, council/counsel, concurrent/consecutive, founder/flounder, and historic/historical. When in doubt, check a dictionary.
- Avoid redundancy: absolutely essential, actual fact, combine together.
- Use specific words rather than overly general words. Find synonyms for thing, people, nice, good, bad, stuff, interesting, and other vague words. Or use specific details to make your exact meaning clear.
- Add your definition or context. If you find a word or phrase in a previous sentence (or quote) that does not give a clear meaning, add a sentence that explains or defines the word/phrase in the specific context of your argument.
Exercise 2
Now return to Mariah’s first draft of the essay you have been revising for Exercise 1. Mark where information about a secondary source should be placed. And, read each sentence carefully. Check it for unnecessary words to make your sentences as concise as they can be. If you find a word/phrase with a lack of clarity or informality, add your following explanation or replace them with specific and appropriate words/phrases.
Then, compare the original draft with your revised and edited essay. What difference do you find? What could have been better in the latter draft?
Continue Reading: 14.3 Final Editing Checklist
