29/10/94
Sr. M,^[1]

Thanks a lot for the corrections to the Speech.^[2] I’m also sending the 5-minute address. The third one—the 30-minute paper should be ready by the end of today. I must appeal to you to wait and take them all with you. Please!

I may still need to correct them before the 14th of November because I will ask Professor Claude Ake to look all three over. I rely on his judgement a lot. If it be the case that some changes are required, they will be made, and you will be duly informed—before 14th November.

You are very kind in the way you commiserate with me. But you must know that I’m quite tough. Writing a speech of this nature is normally a joy to me and I was not exhausted after writing it. I was, on the contrary, quite elated.

The fact that the physical conditions here are quite good, that I know there’s a host of Majellas & the ordinary Ogoni people caring, praying for me, my belief in my mission and God’s purpose for me in that mission, these have buoyed me considerably. My moments of depression have had more to do with the political situation in the country, worries over the Ogoni and such-like, than the fact of my confinement. I miss my family, of course, but as I say, it is a fitting price to pay for the joy of others.

This may not sound very nice, and most people around me do not want to hear it (so don’t tell Hauwa), but I have assumed for quite some time that death cannot be very far away from me. The period of confine­ment has helped me to “a closer walk with God”. I was always religious, but the spiritual side of me was not properly developed. I am developing it now. Somehow, I do feel that God is in charge and that all I need to do is work hard, take advice and train & encourage the younger Ogoni to carry on from wherever I may stop. Sr., I’m at peace with myself. My guards are on my side, and the Asst. General Manager of the NEPA station (an Igbo of the name Godwin Oboli) has been wonderful. Replying to the letters I get keeps me busy and those letters give me pleasure too.