Speech before the Bipartisan Commission for Trilateral Annexation April 12, 1984
The U.S. Agency for International Development will give $15 million to complete the formerly Communist-Inspired airport in Grenada. The administration now concedes that it invaded because it was felt we could build a better airport. The Senate will consider legislation requiring all Western nations to submit blueprints of their construction projects in advance to President Ron for his approval, and to prepare for a quiz on Friday.
America is on the move again, moving on countries far and wide, small and smaller. We are once again standing tall, on a wide variety of backs. However, the U.S. role in monitoring South Africa’s withdrawal from Angola will be minimal and there will be no American involvement in combat in Southwest Africa, even though it lies within South Africa’s smear of influence and hence within our own. A Western diplomat, who wished to remain anonymous in case things change later, said that monitors are not advisers, advisors are not trainers, and trainers are not troops. However, he conceded that they are peace-keeping forces and that if fired upon they would be obliged to stand tall so that they could see who was firing on them and report it to the teacher.
In other war news, Miami police were recently able to prevent extensive rioting by making swift arrests. According to Raymond Lang, an empowered spoke for the Miami Police Cluster, “We got the troublemakers off the street. Those who were released didn’t see any fun in being arrested a second time.” The reason for all the merrymaking was the acquittal, by an all-white jury, of an all-white policeman on charges of killing an all-black person. Now that the troublemakers are off the streets, there’ll be more room for policemen and their juries.
President Ron’s re-election slogan is “Let’s Finish the Job.” And the planet if possible. The other emerging campaign watchword is “America is Back.” Just how far back will be revealed at a date to be revealed at another point in time. Mr. Fritz Mondale, a formerly unacceptable candidate because of his failure to take a side on the Grenada Rescue, has been certified as acceptable due to his description of Honduras as a democracy in need of American technical advice, and his recommendation to provide the advice via 200 “nonmilitary soldiers.” Welcome to the club, Fritz.
Governor Deukmejian of California has vetoed the self-styled gay rights bill, saying that a person’s sexual orientation should not be the basis for the establishment of a special protected class of individuals—only the establishment of a special discriminated class. Meanwhile, women’s rights leader Ronald Reagan, speaking through his girl Friday, said that we’ve made a lot of progress in his lifetime. He said women got the right to vote, and since then they’ve come a long way, baby. President Ron has appointed more women to high levels of government service than any of his predecessors. In fact, former President Nixon has allowed the press to quote him as saying that the Republicans will elect a woman Vice President before the Democrats will be able to nominate one because “the Republicans need it more.” Once again, evidence from an unimpeachable source that the Republicans are the Truly Needy.
The U.S. State Department report on human rights reveals that serious problems in Iran, the Soviet Union, Afghanistan and other states stem from the fact that these nations oppose our policies, and hence our values. Therefore they feel compelled to be Wrong on the Human question. According to this report, the peace activists in the Soviet Union are suppressed, instead of just being ignored as in the West. The report notes advances in Latin America, especially elections or intent to hold elections in El Slaveador, Guatemala and Honduras. Certain sectors of the population will however be ineligible to vote, including victims of death squads, since they would be prejudiced against some of the candidates and therefore not objective voters.