Dave Lippman
Once again, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that George Shrub and his ilk are still with us, foisting the “Right Point of View” on an what’s left of the planet. But Dr. Shrub (Monroe Doctorate) does have one attribute his real-time colleagues lack: Although he does lie, censor and distort, he admits it. Proudly. If you ever wanted to know what they’re really thinking, George is your man. Because he’s his own man, unelected, unbound by the demands of special interest groups like voters, minorities, humans…At last we have a man willing to come right out and say what he’s thinking, and that you shouldn’t. A man who may not agree with what you say, but who will defend your death if you say it. A man who selflessly shares his views with you so that you won’t need your own. A man who will travel to your town and help set up an intelligence-free zone in your neighborhood. A man who knows a lot, some of which is true, the rest of which he’s willing to share.
And not just a man who’s willing to talk: George Shrub is the world’s only known singing CIA agent. Others have plundered, gathered information and dissed it; only George sings the song as he tells the tale.
From his humble beginnings as backstage manipulator for the Reagan for Shah campaign, through his work as senior adviser to the Students United for Apartheid (SUFA) and the Coalition Against Central America (CACA), George Shrub has risen to become the Poet Laureate of the Imperialist Community and the respected anchor, or anyway the anchor, for the fabled “NewsSpeak” program. In this capacity he carries on the never-ending battle to explain world events away for those who, unfortunately, follow such things.
The present volume collects George’s wit, if not wisdom; his “news” reports, his diatribes, and even the history of the United States in a rap tune. The work collected here covers up events from 1985 to 1990. Most of these pieces were originally delivered live and in person to helpless victim audiences around the nation and beyond. You might want to seek out his earlier works, “George Shrub Speaks—Declassified Addresses,” Volumes I and II (combined), to complete your collection. Or a friend’s—remember, Christmas is always just around the corner.
Contents copyright 1990 by Dave Lippman,
in spite of himself.