George Bush achieved a mandate, with a landslide sweep of 80% of the electoral vote.  His popular vote total was 54%—but then, democracy is not a popularity contest.  Still, the election proves that the majority won: Whites.

Bush’s landslide indicates approval of Ronald Reagan’s tenure by a satisfied electorate, or at any rate, a satisfied electoral college.

President-Elect Bush says the election reinforced the principle of pluralism in our system—that one party can support the aspirations of the poor and minorities, and the other party can win elections.  Some pundits are saying, however, that the Democrats must choose whether they want to support the aspirations of Blacks or win elections.  This does not indicate, as it might appear to, that Whites are racist, but rather that they vote their pocketbooks.  The Democrats can bridge the electoral chasm of race only by making use of the basic bridge-building tools of the Presidency: smoke and mirrors.

Bush told the press, “The American people, in voting for me, voted for certain things, and I will not compromise on those things.  The people voted for lipreading and against rape.  They voted against new taxes and for maneuvering room in revenue enhancement.  They voted for the pledge of allegiance and against the ACLU.  They voted for somebody with experience in dealing with international drug pushers, and friends, I am that man.”

Bush conceded that the public does not know how he will deal with such issues as the national debt, the budget deficit, and environmental decay, but urged the public to “just think of it as a four-year blind date.”

Mr. Bush had conciliatory words for his vanquished opponents, offering them a place in the New American Mainstream if they renounce the L-word, salute the flag and vote for Star Wars.

The Vice President said he will be the Education President, fulfilling his promises to his supporters in the Electoral College.  Bush added that he will consult with the CIA every day, and with the Congress as needed.